Moving Forward
by ProfTweety
Summary: (Update: Ep Tag 5.13; White Lies, Part Three) If there was one thing Sharon Raydor and Andy Flynn were good at, it was waiting.
1. Moving Forward

_**Moving Forward**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_ ; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **A/N** : Ep Tag 5.1: That letter from Andy remained in the drawer of her bedside table. Sharon liked having it close to her, especially on days he wasn't staying over. Now all these months later, she was thinking about that day and night, the next morning and _all_ the times after that in relation to Andy deciding he needed to shorten his commute.

 **A/N2** : _Enjoy_! Please leave a _review_ if y'all's feel so inclined. They are ever so lovely to read and _much_ appreciated. # **TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

They usually spent a great deal of their personal time together at Sharon's condo. Andy felt more than at home there, having stayed for his recuperation, and knew where she kept everything. On days when their dates brought them closer to his area or when they just wanted to spend uninterrupted time together, they'd end up at his house.

Their relationship hadn't gone to that final level of intimacy yet but they were getting there. Sharon allowed herself to open her heart and trust her instincts, _and_ _Andy_ , and their levels of passion were moving through the bases. Long gone were the days of him thinking they'd need a chaperone. Long gone were the days of him thinking he had to totally step back and let her take the lead. She was so much better at letting their relationship grow naturally at this point than he'd ever expected after that conversation on their first date.

" _If we're really going to do this, Andy, it has to be slow. It has to be at a pace I'm comfortable with or I won't be able to handle it, not at this point in my life._ "

" _We'll go as slow as you need to, Sharon, cuz I really think this thing between us is worth waiting for_."

Andy was an honest guy; he didn't like holding things back from anyone but most especially Sharon. He'd asked Provenza if he should give her the letter he'd written before his surgery or just throw it away. Of course his friend had whispered, " _Ye Gods_ ," at the realization that he was still holding on to it for so many months _and_ was still wondering what to do about it. " _Give her the damn thing already_ ," was his response before he rolled his eyes at him. Still not being able to decide, Andy had unfolded the note, reread it, folded it back in half and placed it in his desk drawer figuring one day he'd find the courage to give it to Sharon. 'Then,' he thought, 'she'll know how long I've loved her.' It just seemed like the time was never right.

A rough case behind them, the job offer from the NFL still hanging in the air though she seemed almost set on not even interviewing for it, they'd decided to spend the day together at his place without making any plans. It was a well-deserved day of rest, relaxation and continued exploration of one another; as much as she was comfortable allowing, anyway.

Easily finding reasons to touch one another, sit close together or snuggle always led to soft murmurs, gentle kisses that turned deeply passionate, and their hands slowly moving over each other. They had yet to touch the other's most intimate area but they knew already they could move their hands over every other part.

During the cooler part of the day, though still hot, they'd gone to sit on the lounge chairs in his yard. Both with eyes closed, holding hands, they enjoyed the peaceful silence between them.

Out of nowhere, he heard her quietly announce, "I like how high your fence is," with a smile that reached her eyes.

"So do I," he replied as he moved from his lounger to hers.

As the kisses heated up, he changed the setting on the chair and moved it to a completely horizontal position. Covering her mouth with his, their legs became entangled.

As he strained against his jeans, he suggested, "You should leave shorts and a tank top here for days like this. Jeans get too hot."

Without hesitation, she whispered, "I should," before nipping, licking and sucking along his neck.

As he did the same to her, he realized she'd managed to separate her legs from his and he'd settled between them. Reclaiming her lips, he felt her untucking his tee shirt so he followed suit with her v-neck. He'd learned to slowly try new things with her and they'd worked well thus far.

While his hands knew the feel of her breasts, his mouth didn't and so he pushed her shirt up slowly as they got lost in each other. Working his way down her neck, he kissed the exposed areas of her breasts, took in her perfume along with the scent that could only be her, and then swiped his tongue over her erect nipples. When she arched towards him, he took it as sign to go further. Lifting her bra slowly, he licked then mouthed one breast before the other. After he'd pulled her bra back down, she'd had them switch positions, pulled his tee up and did the same to him. He was surprised when she made no mention of how very hairy he was but rather ran her nails through, gently scraping his skin in such a way that he was straining even more against his jeans.

Rolling them back over, he again suggested she leave shorts and a tank there.

Murmuring, "I will," she gently scraped her nails along his back before pulling his shirt down again.

His heart beat a little quicker at the realization of what she said. _I will_ not _I will when I'm ready_ or _I will soon_. Just _I_ _will_. Working to keep his excitement under control, he asked her if they should take a break. She was sure to explain that she only said _yes_ because the sun was still blazing, they needed some water and air conditioning.

Once inside, he went to the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of water and pour some ice tea into glasses in case she wanted some. As he was doing that, she stood in the living room, eyeing one of the frames on the wall that had been bothering her since they'd first hung it. "It's a little crooked," she finally decided aloud.

"I kinda figured from the way you keep staring at it," he smiled sheepishly. Usually a perfectionist, he'd been distracted by her as they worked to hang it together. "We'll mark it this time. Would ya mind grabbing a pencil from my desk?"

She moved to his desk as he put the beverages on his coffee table. When she opened the drawer, there was a change in her demeanor and her hand flew to cover her diaphragm. Wondering what happened, he saw her eyes moisten and realized she'd seen _it_. Not only seen it but was taking it the wrong way; taking it the way Jack had always intended. "Shit, Sharon, I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted you to find out," he'd said in his haste to get over to her.

"You're prepared," she whispered, hurt poured into every word.

" _No_ , I'm not," he tried to assure her. "It's not like that." Putting his hands on her face, he succeeded in getting her to look at him before he told her to read it, that it was a good letter. He felt like an idiot. Provenza and his damn refusal to just _tell_ her. "I wrote it before my surgery. That day Provenza was trying to kill me with the DNR stuff." He shrugged and scratched his neck. "Look, give me a chance to explain this." When she barely nodded, he continued. "I felt a certain way about you and I asked my best friend to let you know if I didn't make it," he said haltingly. "Being an idiot, he wouldn't just _tell_ you. No! He had me _write_ it down and tells me he'll just _give_ it to you if I die."

'That can't be right, that was months ago,' she thought. "You wrote this _before_ your surgery?"

"Yeah, and I kind of, well, I didn't have the nerve to give it to you when you had so much else going on but since you found it," he paused to place a chaste kiss on her lips, "I want ya to read it, _please_."

The hesitation was crystal clear as she reached for the letter. Hand slightly shaking and deeper breathes gave her away despite how calm she was trying to appear. Pulling her to him, he murmured, "I would never do that to you. I would _never_ hurt you like that." Grabbing the sheet of paper himself, he moved her to sit on his desk. Holding it up, he explained, "This is Provenza not wanting to say _my_ words to you. He's a romantic at heart and didn't want you to hear it from him. This letter, Sharon," he moved the paper side to side, "is me telling you how I feel."

Her eyes misted over again. "You wanted me to know," she rasped. "She had so many opportunities to say something and, for whatever reason, she just didn't say it." That part of that case never left her.

He cleared his throat. "Well, to be honest here, my reason was so I didn't scare ya off. We're taking it slow and this letter, my feelings for you, I didn't want you to think I was pushing." Standing between her legs, he had his hands resting on her forearms. Letting the paper drop, he moved it to cup her jaw. "That is _not_ what I wanted to do. I just didn't want you to wonder." He kissed her softly. "For once in your life, I wanted you to have a letter that made you smile." The next kiss was deeper. "I thought it might help you if something happened during the surgery." They both put their fear of that possibility, though long since passed, into the next kiss and became lost in one another and their own feelings.

When they finally moved apart, she picked up the paper and suggested they move to the couch. He helped her off the desk, placed his arm around her, and found himself walking faster than he'd expected to keep up.

Taking a few gulps of the water, she opened the yellow paper they used for suspects to write their confessions. "Lt Provenza really didn't want to give me your message," she chuckled softly.

"Yeah, some friend he is at times. Anyway, it's not the best but it's honest, Sharon."

"I know it is," she whispered before kissing him.

"I won't hurt you, I promise you that. I've always told you that."

"I believe you, Andy," was all she managed to get out before his mouth covered hers. Passionate kisses, words of comfort and assurance, and hands gently caressing each other's bodies occupied the next several minutes. Moving back, she assured him that she was ready to read his message. Swallowing hard, he agreed it was time.

 _Dear Sharon,_

 _So I asked my best friend to give you one simple message, one sentence, and he hands me a legal pad and tells me to write down my confession. Seriously?! After he answers DNR for every question on that damn form? He's trying to kill me and he won't even tell you that I love you if I end up dying. Some friend he is. Well, he really_ _is_ _a good friend; I'm just annoyed at him right now. I'm sure Rusty will tell you all about the DNR stuff. He seemed concerned and thought you might be better at it. You would've been, believe me._

 _So anyway, back to the purpose of this letter. I don't want you to wonder how I felt about you or where you stood in my life. I love you and I want to make a life with you. That's why I waited. You're worth it. We're worth it. I'm glad you took a chance on me, on us, because I know it's hard for you to open up like that. I won't say anything nasty about Jack but after everything you went through with him, I can't blame you for going slow. I want you to know that too; that as much as I might balk sometimes, I'm good with the waiting._

 _I know my kids like you. They think you're good for me and, hand to God, I agreed with them on that. I think your kids like me too. I saw Ricky smirking the last time he was here. Emily smiled a little too much, if you know what I mean. I guess Rusty keeps them informed. My point is, we can do this. We can make this happen. If I live, that is, but if I don't, I see how much love you have inside and I don't want you to stop trying. I know that you would've eventually told me how you feel about me; when you got to feeling it, that is._

 _This really isn't how I wanted this to go down. I wanted to see your face when I said it. I wanted to be able to tell if I made you happy or nervous or sad. I know you never expected to love anyone after Jack so this was all a huge surprise. Believe me, it was a surprise for me too. I'm glad we both took a chance though. I'm happy for the time I had with you. If this is the end, then so be it but I wish it wasn't. There was so much more we could've done. There are still things that we could've said._

 _So that's my confession._ _I love you_ _. I'm just sorry you'll find out by reading this. Telling you myself would've been better._

 _Love, Andy_

She held the paper to her heart after reading it. She only put it down when she took off her glasses. Wiping under her eyes, never looking at him once, she felt him move closer and pull her to him. "What'd ya think?"

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "I'd like to keep it." Taking a deep breathe, she exhaled slowly. "I don't have any of Jack's letters, if you were wondering. I'd like to keep yours."

"Yeah, sure, that's fine." They couldn't get away from that word. _Fine_.

"I never felt rushed," she murmured before claiming his lips with hers. "My children do like you and know that you're very special to me," she added before moving along his neck, leaving a wet trail of kisses and nips. "You made me happy, Andy, I'm not nervous at all." His own nerves took over and he pulled her to straddle him as he deepened their next kiss.

"I love you, Sharon, and," he covered her lips with his finger, "you don't have to say it back. I'm not rushing you."

She didn't answer him, not with words anyway. She merely pulled his tee shirt up and over his head. Dropping it on the couch next to them, she gently scraped her nails down his chest. When she heard him softly moan, she whispered, "You like that, don't you?" He nodded and pulled her in for a kiss, his tongue entering her mouth as soon as their lips were close enough. When she could speak, she assured him she didn't feel rushed. As she rocked slowly with him, she admitted her own feelings. "I love you, Andy."

His emotions played across his features. She watched him go from initial disbelief, to surprise, to happiness then relief in the end. During their next heated kiss, he pulled up her shirt and, when he met no resistance, he pulled it over her head and dropped it on top of his. His eyes burned with pure lust as he licked his lips and massaged her breasts. During their next kiss, he reached behind her and opened her bra. Dropping it on top of their shirts, he immediately mouthed one breast while tweaking the other; going back and forth, giving each equal attention as she sighed, ran her hands through his hair, and pushed herself closer to him.

Moving back, she grabbed their shirts, held them to her chest as she stood up, and took his hand. He slowly led her to his bedroom, giving her ample time to change her mind. Once inside, their kisses were as hot as they'd ever been and they removed the rest of their clothing quickly. After he'd pulled the covers back, however, they slowed down.

Lying on his bed, they touched each other everywhere, memorizing all the places that brought pleasure with just a touch. She instinctively parted her legs when she felt his fingers seeking out her _very_ sensitive nub. Their bodies were on fire with desire and their newly-admitted feelings of love. It didn't take long before she was going over the edge and moaning his name in such a way that his member practically vibrated. Feeling that, she told him how much she wanted to be with him and assured him the letter wasn't the reason. Reminding him about their time in his yard, she told him she knew then that she was ready. She would only be willing to bring clothes over if she was ready for further commitment.

He'd always imagined making her fall over the precipice several times before he found out how it felt to be inside her but the look on her face, the love in her eyes and the sound of her voice changed all that. Moving slowly, he allowed both of them time to adjust to this new facet of their relationship. Before he knew it, she was breathing out his name and he went over the cliff with her. There would be other times to make it last longer, to enjoy themselves even more. This time was just a way to show, and celebrate, their newly-admitted love for one another.

Afterwards, as they lay tangled up in each other, she spoke softly into his chest. "I'd always imagined our first time being at my home."

Kissing the top of her head, "So did I because, and I'm _not_ complaining, you're always so worried about leaving Rusty alone in the condo overnight." They'd had conversations about that and, as much as she assured him it wouldn't be the case, he'd always known they'd spend the majority of their time together at her place.

"Does that bother you?" She wasn't really concerned because if it did, she would just work on worrying less while she spent the night at his house.

"Nah, as long as we're together, I don't really care where we are." Wrapping his arms tighter around her, he whispered, "I don't want you to go home tonight though unless I go with you." He, in the past, had no problem just getting dressed and leaving a woman's place or vice versa but he knew it wasn't meant to be that way with her.

"If you stay with me tonight then we made love for the first time here and spent our first night together there." When she looked at him, he saw how relaxed she was, how content with her decision she was, and how the happiness made her green eyes glimmer in a way he'd never seen before.

"That's a good compromise," he finally answered, smiling at her reaction.

That night when Rusty saw Andy walk in with his overnight bag and listened to Sharon tell him to just bring it into her room, he'd teased her about the overnight guest conversation they'd had. This caught Andy's attention and he'd stopped, turned around and gave her that lopsided grin that made her smile whenever she saw it.

"It was just a heads-up type of conversation so that each of us was ready for the other to have overnight guests without being surprised," she explained quickly.

"Don't be embarrassed," he shrugged, "I'm just glad you were making plans." With a smirk, he hurriedly headed to her bedroom, but not before seeing her eyebrow quirk at him.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

That letter from Andy remained in the drawer of her bedside table. Sharon liked having it close to her, especially on days he wasn't staying over.

Now all these months later, she was thinking about that day and night, the next morning and _all_ the times after that in relation to Andy deciding he needed to shorten his commute.

Always an impulsive person, it seemed this time he had already thought everything out. He'd researched neighborhoods and commutes, allowed for traffic, and decided Silver Lake was the next place he'd be living. The _location_ didn't require discussion.

He'd lived in Valencia for a long time and the commute to work bothered him but never enough to sell his house until now. It _was_ true that living in Silver Lake would bring him closer to Nicole and her step-children but it was _also_ true that it would bring him closer to _her_. One hour from Valencia versus twenty minutes from Silver Lake. That would actually make a _huge_ difference in regards to the time they spent together outside of work. Whether they'd be living together _right_ away required discussion.

She liked the idea; maybe a little _too_ much but then the _doubts_ always settled in. That was what had her feeling a bit nervous. With Andy's patience, she had learned to fight her fears over the last almost-year of dating. This would just be another step in their relationship; one that brought them closer to that future together they spoke about lately.

With the possibility of them living together _and_ her fears in mind, Sharon suggested to Andy that they discuss him putting his house up for sale that night before they had dinner. She'd learned it was best not to overthink or to keep her thoughts to herself when it came to her boyfriend.

Though her nerves were showing through, she knew in her heart they would talk it out and come to a decision that was best for both of them, separately and as a couple.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N3** : Thanks for reading! Looking forward to the next episode.


	2. Thinking It Over

_**Thinking It Over**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes;_ James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **A/N** : Ep 5.2 tag; Sharon had promised Andy they would discuss moving in together right away or whether they'd wait because she wasn't yet ready. On the drive home, butterflies danced in her stomach and she felt the beginning signs of a headache creeping across her forehead.

 **A/N2** : _Enjoy_! Please leave a _review_ if y'all's feel so inclined. They are ever so lovely to read and _much_ appreciated. # **TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

The first opportunity that presented itself, Rusty knew he would have to follow up with Sharon on the conversation he had overheard between her and Andy about moving in together.

His mother was standing in the kitchen, making tea, when he hesitantly approached her. Sensing something was eating at him, pretty sure she knew what it was, she greeted him with a smile and waited for him to broach the topic himself.

After a few seconds, he jumped in to the heart of his concerns. "Are you really thinking about moving in with Andy?"

"Yes, I am," she answered, picking up her mug and walking over to the dining table.

Sitting down across from her, he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "But this condo is yours. What will you do with it?"

"That's part of my thinking, Rusty."

"But, Sharon, why do you two even have to live together?" He was slowly starting to panic. "He stays over a lot so it's not like you don't see each other."

She hummed and played with the tea bag string hanging over the side of her mug. "We love each other," she said softly. "We've discussed the future and," she paused and took a breath, "when I think of _my_ future, Andy's in it and when he thinks of _his_ future, I'm in it."

"But does that mean you guys have to live together?" He wasn't being mean spirited or snarky, he was merely asking for the clarification he knew he would get from her. She was always very clear with him; in words, actions and intentions.

"It doesn't mean we _have_ to but we'd _like_ to. Neither of us believes that dating alone is where we want to leave this relationship. We'd like to move it forward and Andy is being very understanding about my hesitation to get married again anytime soon so moving in together is an acceptable alternative."

"You don't want to marry him? But he wants to marry you? Doesn't that create problems?" Now he was worried about Sharon getting hurt.

"It probably would've if I was _also_ against living together. While I am cautious, I'm not against it. The marriage thing," she waved her hand in the air, "we can always revisit that some time in the future once we have a solid foundation of living with one another."

"But if you don't want to marry him, why move in with him?" Adult relationships were so very confusing for him. He thought dating Gus was complicated but apparently they had nothing on Sharon and Andy.

"Rusty, it's difficult to really explain. I love Andy and want to spend my life with him but," she paused and thought how best to explain this to her child, "I'm just not ready to get married again. It's not that I don't _want_ to marry Andy, it's just too soon for someone like me." She sighed before taking a sip of her tea.

"For someone like you? What does that even mean, Sharon?"

She sighed again before answering. "That's for me to figure out and hope Andy is willing to wrk with me." Seeing his expression change, she continued. "It's personal and it's complicated."

"Like why you didn't divorce Jack sooner," he offered.

"Yes," she covered his hand momentarily, "it's just like that." Taking another sip of her tea, she watched him remain seated. "I do want to share my life with Andy, of that I am sure."

"Okay, just let me know what's happening," he said as he got up.

"I will," she promised, then silently added, 'once I figure this all out and explain it to myself.'

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

Sharon had promised Andy they would discuss moving in together right away or whether they'd wait because she wasn't yet ready. On the drive home, butterflies danced in her stomach and she felt the beginning signs of a headache creeping across her forehead.

Once inside her condo, they dropped their belongings in their appropriate places and she offered to make tea. Coffee would be too much for her stomach during their conversation, she knew.

Standing by the stove, waiting for the kettle to boil, Sharon noticed Andy making his way over to her. Slowly she turned towards him to let him know she wasn't hiding from him or their conversation. Nerves aside, they needed to discuss this. She could tell by his body language that he was nervous also; somehow that comforted her.

Standing in front of her now, he reached out and traced her jawline gently, letting his thumb ghost over her lower lip. "There's something I want to do before we talk," he murmured just before leaning in. Their nerves on edge, the kiss began slowly, hesitantly, but quickly became passionate as they relaxed. "I love you, Sharon, and I wanted to start with that."

"I love you too, Andy," she responded. Biting her bottom lip, she was just about to speak when the kettle began to whistle. After making their tea, she moved to sit at the dining table but he was ahead of her and aiming for the couch.

Once they were both seated, beverages on the coffee table, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him, kissing her temple. "We both see a future together, right?"

"We do," she assured him. Turning to see him better, "Andy, you have been so incredibly understanding about all of this from the very beginning."

Shrugging, "We both have baggage, Sharon." Running his finger through her hair, "I understand you wanting to wait to get married again. Moving in with me gives us the life together we want without creating the legal problems that marriage does. It's a good alternative."

Moving her hand to rest on his chest, "it is a very good alternative, Andy, and I _want_ us to live together. There is no debate about that. This discussion is regarding whether we do it right away or not."

He looked across the room. "What I don't get is if you want to do it, why the hesitation on when?" When their eyes met, she could see uncertainty mixed with a small amount of sadness.

"I've built up an entire life by myself, Andy. What I have, everything I have, I've gotten _myself_. I _know_ I don't have to do things alone anymore. I _know_ I won't lose what I have to or because of you." He sat and listened intently. Even as she rose, he followed her with his eyes. She stopped in front of the balcony doors and looked out into the dark night.

Moving in his seat to be facing her, he rubbed his hand over his neck then through his hair. "I'm gonna buy a house closer to work, closer to Nicole and closer to you if you decide not to move in with me." He squirmed a little before resuming speaking. "And, for the record, you're only last because you seem to want to be and I don't want to argue with you about this."

"I know I'm not last in your life, Andy, and I hope you know you aren't in mine either," she said softly. Turning to look at him, "I love you and I want us to spend our lives together." Needing time to get her thoughts more organized, she went back to looking out the glass door. "I _am_ open to moving in right away but there's _something_ that's bothering me and I can't quite figure it out just yet. I do know that this condo is my _home_ and if we don't work out -."

He stood up and placed his hands on her forearms. "If you want to keep the condo as a safety net, I'll cover all the bills for the house and you can just kick in with me for the food and stuff like that," he offered.

"That isn't fair," she quietly protested.

"It's really not but I _can_ do it. Maybe a few years down the line," he shrugged, "you'll see we're okay, sell the condo and then we'll _both_ carry the bills for the house."

"You would do that, wouldn't you?" she asked, her eyes misting over.

"If that's what it takes, then yeah, Sharon, I would."

"This is my home," she whispered. "What happens if we don't work out?"

"You just move back in here since you're keeping it. But, Sharon, even if you let it go," he caressed her cheek, "you will _always_ have a home. I'd move out of the house if you wanted to stay there until you found a place of your own." He ghosted his lips over hers. "You will _never_ have to worry about where you're going to live." He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "You will _always_ have a home." Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close to him. As he spoke, she could feel his breathe on her neck. "You will _never_ have to worry about a roof over your head, paying bills or saving money. Do you hear me?"

Squeezing him tighter, she felt her eyes well up with tears. "I hear you," she murmured, hoping he couldn't tell how affected she was by his words.

He did though and so he moved to look at her. "We're not gonna decide tonight so let's just end right here and go look at the menus."

"We could end right here and look at the menus later," she suggested. When he nodded with a smile, she took his hand and they began walking to her bedroom.

He was right; they wouldn't decide that night but they had at least begun discussing it. Once she put her finger on what exactly it was that was bothering her, she'd be able to make a proper decision.

[ **The End** ]


	3. More Alternatives

_**More Alternatives**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes;_ James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **A/N** : Ep 5.3 tag; She wanted time to herself to formulate how to tell him what she had finally figured out.

 **A/N2** : _Enjoy_! Please leave a _review_ if y'all's feel so inclined. They are ever so lovely to read and _much_ appreciated. # **TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Sharon had thought about Andy's suggestion to move in with him right away, as soon as he bought his house. Time had passed and she thought about her hesitation, trying to put her finger on what exactly was bothering her about it that she had to put so much thought into it. She wanted them to live together. She saw a future for them together. Taking that step to make love showed her how deeply she felt for the man; showed her how much of herself she was willing to share with him because she truly loved him and saw a future for them. But there was that little niggling feeling whenever he mentioned it that she had yet to figure out.

The topic had come up from time to time but Andy didn't want to mention it too much and risk Sharon just saying no to the whole thing.

Cases had come and gone; short turnarounds and not so short. During one particular case that took five days to close, Andy just stayed at Sharon's condo. The drive home was too long and most nights they just went home to sleep.

One morning, as she was in the shower, he stepped in a few moments later and they made love. They weren't young anymore but they had just been literally sleeping together when they got in, only a few hours at that, and missed their intimate connection.

As they were getting dressed, he mentioned wanting a three bedroom house; one for them, one for Rusty, and a guest room for when his grandkids slept over or when Emily or Ricky were in town. She had smiled at him because he always included her children in his decisions without hesitation. Deciding to add to the conversation, she mentioned wanting an en suite bathroom just for them. He kissed her passionately in agreement and she laughed as she held him to close to her them reminded him they had to get back to work.

It was paperwork day and they were all glad to be done with the damn case, once and for all. Doing their after-action reports quietly and quickly, they knew they'd get out as soon as they finished. The only one who would stay behind was their Captain to read and sign off on them before she went home. Andy would wait for her, they all knew, but they didn't count that as work. Only their Captain would be working.

Once Provenza had looked over everyone's reports, he gathered them in a pile and handed them to Flynn. "You're going in there anyway so make yourself useful," he told his best friend. Andy made a face at him while grabbing the stack and headed for the Captain's office while Provenza dismissed the rest of the team and prepared to leave himself.

Giving the stack to her, he offered to wait. Though he usually did, she wanted time to herself to formulate how to tell him what she had finally figured out.

"No, Andy, why don't you go on home? I won't be long." His confused expression had her explaining, "I'll meet you at the condo."

"You sure cuz I can wait," he offered. He always waited. Why would today be any different?

"I just honesty need thirty minutes to myself," she told him as gently as she could.

He mumbled okay and turned to leave. She watched him go before getting back to her paperwork.

On the drive home to her condo, Andy worried he had pushed her too much. He worried that spending the entire case at her place might've showed her that she wasn't ready to live with him. He worried that he'd be getting the house only to be closer to her condo and he wouldn't have the excuse of a long drive to use anymore to stay at her place as often as he was used to doing. He also thought about her telling him to go _home_ to her condo.

Paperwork completed, the file folder in its proper place, she grabbed her belongings and prepared to leave. Having thought of exactly how to bring up the topic to her boyfriend, she was in her car already before she realized how he must've taken her statement. She would explain that to him as well as give him her decision if he was amenable to her alternative. They had been playing _alternative-merry-go-round_ since he first brought up the idea of them living together.

Once inside, all her belongings where they should be, she joined him on the balcony. He was looking off into space so she put her arms around him from behind and kissed his neck. He hummed and turned around for a proper greeting.

After their kiss, she moved to the railing and began looking out at nothing in particular. "I'm going to miss my view," she told him honesty.

"Yeah, a porch isn't gonna be the same," he agreed, his hand scratching the back of his neck. "But you can always come here whenever you need time to yourself and then you'll be able to enjoy it."

"I only needed time today because I have another alternative to present to you and I was working on it as I read the reports." When he didn't say anything, just put his hands in his pockets and waited for her new option, she continued. "It was your _wording_ , Andy, that's been bothering me." When she could tell he was ready to protest, she placed her hand on his chest. "I knew what you meant but it was still literally the _wording_."

"What did I say that was wrong?"

Hearing that he was calm but worried, she moved back so they could see each other better. "I love you, Andy, and I do want us to live together. That's the most important thing for you to hear right now."

"I love you too, Sharon, and I'm glad you decided to move in with me when I buy the house." He smiled then squinted when he saw her grimace.

"I want us to live together in _our_ house," she pointed out. Knowing she needed to explain, she took his hand and led them inside to the couch. "I am willing to share my life with you, Andy. Any house we're interested in buying should be contingent upon both of our homes selling." Looking at his features, seeing him trying to understand what her alternative was exactly had her taking a deep breath. "I will always be self-reliant and independent even living with you. I'm more concerned, more _cautious_ , about protecting myself. That's what all of my hesitation comes down to, Andy, I have to _protect_ myself. I've learned too much not to do that. I've lost and fought to get back too much not to do that."

"I know that, Sharon, and I understand," he assured her.

"I own this condo. If we both sell our homes and buy our new home together then _both_ of our names will be on the mortgage thus on the deed. I wouldn't be moving into _your_ house with you. We'd be moving in together to _our_ home."

"That's your alternative?! I was thinking all _kinds_ of things, Sharon."

Reaching out, she took his hand and lightly squeezed. "I'm sorry for that." She felt him squeeze back.

"I know what you've been through and given your hesitation to get married again, right now anyway, I was trying to make this as easy on you as possible. I didn't want you to worry about mortgages or anything else for that matter. I just wanted you to move in and be _home_."

"But I _should_ worry about the mortgage and the bills, Andy, as much as you will. Not to mention that I'll have legal standing if we're both on the mortgage and deed." Seeing the hurt cross his features, she clarified. "Not that I'm thinking we will break up but if we do, I _have_ to protect myself. We will each own half of our home and each pay half of the shared bills and expenses."

"Sharon, I was trying to protect you _financially_. I wanted to show you that I could do this for us. I already planned to make it all legal that you get the house if I die. I was looking out for you _not_ trying to make everything mine." He got up and walked back out to the balcony. She followed him when she realized he planned to stay out there.

"I appreciate that, Andy, I do," she said as she wrapped her arms around him from behind yet again. "I _love_ that you wanted to do that for me." Her eyes misted once the true meaning set in and made its way to her heart. "I'm sorry I hurt you." She kissed his neck. "Trying to protect myself should not cause you pain." She walked around to stand in front of him. His arms instantly went around her and pulled her tight.

"I like your alternative, Sharon, because it's what makes you feel comfortable enough to do this. I want to make sure you understand I was just trying to _protect_ you, trying to help you and take care of you. Now, I know I don't _have_ to because you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself and you've been doing it a long time. Just the same, I _want_ to help you out sometimes. That's just me."

When she lifted her face to look at him, he kissed her and she deepened it immediately. "I love that that is just you, Andy," she whispered, a wide smile showing she meant it.

"So we're moving in together? We're buying _our_ house together?"

"If you're all right with how I _need_ it to be, then yes, we are. We should start looking as soon as possible because the market moves very quickly."

"I'm more than all right with it. I'll find a realtor as soon as I can and we'll get this search started." He was grinning at her, his happiness wrapping itself around her.

Kissing him softly, she murmured, "Thank you, Andy," then took his hand to head toward her bedroom. He pulled her back into his arms for a heated kiss that had them untucking their shirts and running their hands underneath before they pulled back, realizing Rusty might be home or come home. Either way, it wasn't something he needed to see.

They hurried to her bedroom, kissing along the way but took their time making love, celebrating this next step they were about to take.

[ **The End** ]


	4. Moldy House

_**Moldy House**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.4, After telling her he could see them together in a house of their own sooner rather than later, he smiled at her rapid agreement.

 **A/N1** : Thanks to those who reviewed my previous #MC fics. Y'all's are awesome!

 **A/N2** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever _so_ appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Though she loved the house and saw them living there together as a family, once the realtor mentioned toxic mold Sharon couldn't get out of there quick enough. Andy was upset this development would prolong their house search which meant it'd take longer for them to move in together. Rusty just wanted to get to the library and work on his latest vlog series.

As Andy drove, Rusty asked to be dropped by PAB so he could get his car. Sharon was rather quiet during the drive though she did participate in some of the back-and-forth between the men and couldn't help but laugh at some of her boyfriend's stories.

Rusty thought it was funny that Andy blamed Provenza for his bad luck regarding the mold. The older man gave him a long, drawn out explanation for believing it was his best friend's fault that ended with both Rusty and Sharon laughing so hard they'd temporarily forgotten about the mold.

Once they'd dropped Rusty off, they made the short trip to Sharon's condo. As they entered, Andy asked her if everything was still all right with them and their plans or if he screwed things up. Her hand instinctively went to rest on his chest. After assuring him their plans were still in place, they'd keep looking, she took his hand and led him down the foyer to her bedroom.

While informing him that she could practically still feel the mold making her itch, she began to undress. When Andy remained in place, she invited him to join her then stepped into the bathroom to turn on the shower. By the time the water heated to her preferred level, he was ready to get in right behind her.

Washing her hair was first on Sharon's list and as she was wetting it, Andy let his hands glide up her sides until they reached her breasts. Tweaking her erect nipples, he grinned as she sighed and tried to concentrate on her task. When he mouthed one breast and caressed her derrière, her hands moved to his head and she arched into him. Moving over to her other breast, his hand slid down to her core. When his finger touched her nub, she kissed the side of his head as her legs spread apart. Once a finger slid inside her, she pulled his face up to hers and kissed him passionately. Moving her away from the water spray, he placed soft kisses along her body as he knelt down.

Her eyes widened as realization set in. His tongue began swirling and flitting around her nub. Her breathing became erratic and he smiled up at her before lapping up some of her sweet nectar. By then she was thrusting into him and he knew she was close enough to just want release. Siding two fingers into her wetness caused her to spread her legs further, given him ample room to pump his fingers as he flicked her sensitive spot. Breathing out his name, she fell over the cliff then helped him up and pulled him into a heated kiss. Telling him she wanted to taste him also, she began to kneel but he stopped her by admitting his preference right then was to be inside her. Mentioning he'd wait until they were in bed, he handed her the shampoo as he grabbed the soap. Staring at his engorged member made her wash her hair quickly and switch places with him. Throughout the remainder of their shower, which they managed to keep short, she ran her hand along him occasionally to maintain his attention.

Stepping out, they dried off just enough and made their way to her bed. Kissing her deeply as he slowly entered her had her moaning into his mouth. Figuring they'd make love again before they went to sleep, he pounded into her while she matched him thrust for thrust. Both reaching their climax simultaneously, he didn't move away from her until their breathing regulated.

Rolling over, he brought her with him to remain cuddled together while they talked. He was still worried about how the house viewing had ended but she told him they were on the right track in their search, they just needed a house without toxic black mold. Just the mere mention of it made her itch and he chuckled at her when she squirmed.

After telling her he could see them together in a house of their own sooner rather than later, he smiled at her rapid agreement.

"I want us to live together, Andy," she quietly assured him.

"Good cuz I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sharon."

"I want that too," she replied as she looked up at him. "We keep searching and find the house that's just right for _us_."

"We keep searching," he repeated, his eyes closing. Deciding to join him and rest, she kissed his chest then closed her eyes.

Though they'd have to wait longer, they were both comfortable knowing they'd be spending even more time together during their house search. Each of them was looking forward to that.

[ **The** **End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	5. House Hunting

_**House Hunting**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, had that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.6, They appreciated the amount of work that relationships took to flourish and both were willing to put in the work required to reap the benefits of being together.

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever _so_ appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Andy and Sharon were very careful about keeping the lines of communication open between them. Whether it be professional or personal, they talked about anything that came up that might make the other uncomfortable, unsure or just curious. It wasn't always negative topics, they had plenty of positive things in their lives to be discussed and shared.

They appreciated the amount of work that relationships took to flourish and both were willing to put in the work required to reap the benefits of being together. The key for both of them was _balance_ and they knew they were successful in maintaining it because they were planning on moving through yet another stage in their relationship.

After the gambling case, Andy wasn't sure if he should bring up Jack or even ask Sharon how she came about having such a deep understanding of his world as it pertained to his addictions. She sensed something was bothering him and surmised it was the knowledge she shared with the team during their investigation. Trying to ease his discomfort, she made tea and invited him to sit on the couch with her. Then, without any hesitation, she shared with him how she came about knowing as much about Jack's world of gambling as she did.

When she was done, she felt foolish about all the times she had helped her then-husband out of one jam or another, about all the money she had lost to his addictions, and mostly about sharing it with her boyfriend. He held her, assured her he didn't think anything negative about her actions because she was in love, and then kissed her softly when she looked at him. He explained to her that he understood how deeply she loves and how far she'll go for the people close to her in order to show he understood it from _her_ point of view as opposed to Jack's. In that moment, she was so glad to have agreed to move in with him because she couldn't imagine her life without him. Marriage license or not, they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, she hoped.

Their discussions about Rusty's reaction to, and opinion of, his biological mother's pregnancy occurred each time something came up. It was usually when Rusty got on his high horse about the other Sharon putting the baby up for adoption to save it from the life he had or when his biological mother tried to discuss her pregnancy with him. While Sharon understood his past and the pain it still caused, she _did_ want him to be more respectful of his mother's decisions because they were hers to make.

Around their cases, they spent a great deal of time going to view homes they'd both agreed could work for their family unit. Andy found himself envisioning them in retirement, playing with their grandchildren during visits, whenever he saw how excited she got about a new house.

One evening when she had gone through a small pile of listings he'd given her, and marked the ones they should see in person, he thought nothing could make him happier. Then she quietly told him she couldn't wait for them to move in together and he thought his heart stopped beating. Once he recovered, he kissed her with everything he had so she'd know just how happy he was from hearing her say that.

They knew Rusty wouldn't be home so getting interrupted wasn't something they needed to worry about as they got lost in one another on the couch. Shirts were untucked, opened and removed. Hands roamed over bodies, caressing skin. Undoing his belt and pants had him reaching under her skirt to remove her pantyhose and panties. Straddling him, she eased herself down until he filled her then waited but a second before she was moving up and down on him. They whispered words of love and hope for their future as they quickly thrust into each other. He held her hips, directing their joined bodies, as she fell over the cliff, breathing out his name on a long moan. Seconds later he joined her and they kissed slowly yet deeply until their bodies were no longer one.

Later that evening, settled in bed, she asked him to be gracious about the award Mike won for the _Badge of Justice_ episode "Haters Gonna Hate." He groaned loudly but agreed. When she told him that she'd be celebrating the occasion with a cake and apple cider, he rolled his eyes and hoped she wouldn't notice in the dimly lit room. She did and laughed at him but then asked him to make the effort at the party to show Mike he supported him and was happy he'd won the award despite all the snarky remarks he'd been making. Teasingly, he asked what was in it for him. Removing her nightgown had him moaning. Running her hand along his member had him removing his boxers. Kissing her, moving on top and entering her had him agreeing to be nice about the stupid statue Mike had won. She softly laughed before telling him she loved him which had him saying he'd love her for the rest of his life.

They had come so far in the year they'd been dating. They'd learned so much about one another and yet there were more levels to achieve. As they lay snuggled after their lovemaking, ready to end their day together before they started another one the same way, they shared their thoughts of how they each pictured their future growing older together. While Andy's face was taken over by his smile, Sharon sighed happily at the similarities. Any differences, she knew, would be worked out as they moved forward.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	6. Playing House

_**Playing House**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, had that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.7, "In our house, we won't have to worry about our neighbors being so close or hearing us while we're enjoying having the place to ourselves."

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever _so_ appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Sharon had been in the field twice in less than a month's time. She enjoyed the adrenaline rush and seeing her team, especially Andy, in action. They had enough of a balanced life that she could ride with him and maintain their professionalism. Their lives, and those of her team members, depended on it and they were mature enough to be able to pull it off. Most touches at work, if she really thought about it, were initiated by her. Andy very rarely crossed that line unless she did first.

By the end of the case, Taylor was notified of their intentions to move in together and, similar to their first notification, he was shocked, embarrassed and wanted to get away from them as quickly as possible. Rolling her eyes, Sharon smiled at Andy as they enjoyed a chuckle at Taylor's expense once he'd left.

Their moment was briefly interrupted by Rusty who had come up with another idea on the fingerprint angle and wanted to run it by her almost as soon as it popped into his head. Gus, displaying the patience of a saint, waited for him then, when he seemed to want to continue, reminded him he could do so the next day. Sharon and Andy got another chuckle when Gus practically pulled Rusty into the waiting elevator.

With Rusty gone for the night, they made their way to her condo. Once inside, belongings where they always went upon entering, Andy began kissing her. When Sharon responded passionately, he backed her up against the wall and pressed his body into hers. She could tell immediately how much he wanted her and a wave of desire flowed through her just thinking about it.

"I hope we find a house soon," he murmured between kisses along her neck.

"So do I," she replied as she removed his suit jacket, hoping he'd do the same with hers. He did.

After untucking her shirt, he slid his hands under it to caress her breasts. First sliding his suspenders down, she untucked and unbuttoned his.

"I want to spend more time with you, Sharon," he managed to get out between kisses.

It had been on his mind a lot of late. The only reason they weren't living together yet was because they hadn't found a house that worked for the three of them.

"I'd like that," she rasped before capturing his mouth again.

Toeing off his shoes, he began grinding into her. Their day had been a rough one. They'd dealt with a heavily armed man on a mission to kill and he'd turned his weapons on most of them before committing suicide before Andy's and Mike's very eyes.

Instinctively her leg wrapped around his thigh, pulling him in closer. She was glad their latest case ended with none of her team members spilling blood. Provenza sustaining minor injuries was bad enough. She was happy their latest notification had been made. It was out there now and she felt a sense of calm settle over her as she thought about how committed to each other they really were.

"Take off your boots," he husked into her ear before licking along the shell of it then slowly sucking on her lobe. As much as she liked their lovemaking fast sometimes, he knew she had a preference for going slow and truly enjoying each other.

He kept her steady while she hurriedly discarded her footwear. While she was nipping, licking and sucking along his neck, he took the opportunity to unhook her bra. Backed up against the wall again, she moaned as he kneaded her breasts before sliding up her shirt and mouthing one. He was murmuring words she couldn't really hear but a few caught her ear. _Beautiful_. _Perfect_. _Mine_. She moaned as he moved to repeat his actions on the other. _Happy_. _Mine_. _Life_.

"Pull down your panties," he whispered hoarsely, desire thick in his words. He covered her mouth with his right after, swallowing any protests she might've been about to mention. Hands kneading her derrière, pushing her further into his bulge which he slowly moved against her, had her momentarily forgetting they were still in her entryway. Sliding his shirt off his shoulders, she looked at him and saw the fire in his eyes that matched what she felt. Quickly reaching under her skirt, she pulled down her undergarments and finished sliding them off with her feet as their tongues swirled around each other's.

Logic returned long enough for her to remember what they sometimes wanted wasn't as easy at their ages. "We can't do this here, Andy," she pointed out despite wanting very much to stay there and let things just happen.

Moving back, he took her hand and led the way to her dining room. It was closer than her bedroom, he decided, though probably not by much. The real point was that they had the place to themselves so they weren't forced to keep everything safely hidden in the bedroom, weren't forced to solely give of themselves in her bed.

For safety reasons, he stripped his socks while she smiled at him. They really were getting older.

The short walk cooled them down enough to kiss slowly yet deeply while he backed her up to the table.

"We eat here, Andy," she faux protested, her body already reacting to the images her mind was conjuring.

"Hmm," he hummed in agreement, "we do and I plan on having a great meal."

Their next kiss was heated during which she removed his undershirt and opened his belt and trousers. Slipping her hand inside his boxers, she moved along him slowly with enough pressure to make him groan.

Helping her on to the table, he removed her shirt and bra in one swift motion then trailed his fingertips along every inch of her skin until they reached the hem of her skirt. Pulling her to him during another kiss, he slid her off the table and unzipped her skirt quickly pushing it down enough to fall the rest of the way. Helping her back on the table, he kissed his way down her body, stopping right before he reached her core. She was so ready for the pleasure he was about to bring her that she sighed audibly when his tongue didn't reach out immediately.

Grinning, he murmured, "Patience, Sharon," before flicking his tongue over her very sensitive nub. Enjoying the moans he was hearing, he continued to just flick it lightly until he couldn't bear to tease her any longer. He thoroughly enjoyed what they did to one another during their times of intimacy. Waiting all those months was more than worth it. Sliding one finger into her as he swirled gentle circles around her nub had her softly moaning.

He wanted to hear more from her so he slipped another finger inside her, moving them slowly at just the right angle to hit her spot as he continued swirling his tongue with an occasional flick thrown in to keep her off-balance. He loved how she was so open with him sexually, how she trusted him so much to just let go, just enjoy herself and him. His member twitched as her moans became consistently louder and her head slowly swayed side to side. Her eyes closed, she appeared the picture of bliss when he stole a glance at her without breaking his rhythm.

He was feeling greedy about pleasing her. He wanted more sounds, more volume, and far more pleasure. Inserting a third finger, he got immediate gratification as her moans grew louder and she began whispering his name with each movement of his hand and tongue. Her legs began shaking and he knew she was getting close. Her body arched up and his name was moaned louder until she was finally just repeating, " _Oh God, Andy_ ," over and over as she reached the pinnacle of pleasure. Her hands held onto his head, nails gently scraping his scalp, as he lapped her free-flowing juices and let her settle down. Because she was practically panting, she needed to regulate her breathing before they did anything else.

As he stood up, he dropped his trousers and boxers. Leaning over her, he kissed his way gently and slowly up her body before claiming her mouth in a languid kiss. When she was ready to continue, he helped her off the table and turned her around.

She began to protest because she wanted to bring him some pleasure but he assured her he was too close for that. He longed to have her tongue work its magic on him while her lips maintained the perfect amount of pressure to make him moan, groan, thrust and call out her name time and again but that had to be left for another time.

His hands cupping her breasts, his lips ghosting over her neck and shoulders, he bent her over the table. He slipped right into her and slowly began thrusting as he kneaded her breasts. Letting go of them, he let her erect nipples land gently on the cold wood and felt the shiver run through her. Running his hands along her body, he maintained his slow pace, smiling as her moans began again.

Standing up, hands on her derrière, he began watching himself move in and out of her. He loved seeing how she matched his movements immediately, loved how his member looked as it glistened with her sweet nectar, loved the view and the trust she had in him. To let him be a part of her life, a part of her heart made him happy enough but to let him become a part of her filled him with a joy he believed he'd never before experienced.

" _Oh God, Andy,_ " was louder than she'd usually let herself get and he thought he'd lose it right there but he wanted what came next. Her climax seemed twice as pleasurable because she was still so sensitive from the first. As she pounded against him, he maintained his same pace, enjoying the view and the glisten even more. Her nipples were rubbing along the cold wood as she moved and that added to the overall pleasure she was experiencing. He began gently scratching his nails down her back, enjoying the shiver. Her moans became louder than they'd ever been in all the months they'd been experiencing their mutual bliss. Her climax seemed to never end or she immediately went into another one, neither was quite sure, but her body was on fire. There wasn't a single nerve ending that didn't explode with each thrust, with each touch, or each moaned word from either of them. As she finally fully fell over the cliff, she screamed his name and he began thrusting harder and faster until he was spilling himself into her, yelling her name a few times until there was nothing left in him. Leaning over her again, he kissed everywhere he could reach and caressed other areas of her body. God, he loved her, he kept thinking. When he slipped out of her causing her to turn around, they kissed languidly before heading to the bathroom.

They'd worry about their clothes later. Right then, they needed to wash up, cool down and rest before dinner. She was right; they were getting too old for some things but when it came to things they could still do, there was nothing better.

Lying in bed, she asked him, "Do you think anyone heard us?" Her skin was flushed from their lovemaking but he could still spot the blush in her cheeks. "We were pretty loud this time."

"Yes, we were," he agreed with a huge smile. "In our house, we won't have to worry about our neighbors being so close or hearing us while we're enjoying having the place to ourselves."

"I can't wait," she whispered.

"Neither can I," he whispered back.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!

 **A/N3** : I believe this is enough to hold y'all's over, _EvilRegalShandyLvr21_ and _ImperfectBeing_. Whew!


	7. Chances

_**Chances**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.8; "We have _both_ taken the time to get to know one another and _that's_ why we work."

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever so appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Andy had been a little on the quiet side during their Chinese take-out dinner. Sharon knew him well enough, between dating and friendship, to let him come out of it on his own. While making tea, she suggested they spend some time in the fresh air on the balcony. He'd agreed with a mumble and gotten up to go outside. That spoke more than words to her but she was still set on letting him bring up whatever was troubling him on his own.

Once outside and handing him the mug, she leaned against the railing to enjoy her view. They were still house-hunting so she had taken to spending some time on her balcony each night, if work allowed.

"Being in recovery is aways gonna be an issue," he murmured without looking at her. He had already been leaning against the railing and remained there as he spoke.

"What brought this on?" she asked softly.

"The case, Nicole, Rusty, you," he counted off on his fingers.

"What have I done?" She couldn't help but briefly flash back to conversations, or rather arguments, with Jack.

"You've been amazing is what you've done," he responded quickly with a smile. Watching her expression soften again, realizing how she took it, he kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you, Sharon," before moving back to look at her.

"I love you too, Andy," she whispered with a smile of her own. "You can tell me anything." Taking his hand, she headed to the love seat.

"Nicole was so sure Jared was clean and doing a great job. I thought I was letting her down when it looked like he was our killer. I kept thinking it's a good thing she's used to me disappointing her."

Gently interrupting, she reminded him, "She isn't used to that anymore."

The sadness in his eyes told her he wasn't always sure. "Then Jared turns out to be innocent but he's still getting high. Nicole was so disappointed when I told her."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Not everyone can navigate recovery as well as you have." Thoughts of a drunken Jack in her condo after their divorce briefly flashed through her mind. "I'm proud of you."

He was still always surprised when she reminded him of that. "You really are, aren't you?"

"Very," she said with a smile just before kissing him. It was slow and loving without the passion that would lead to immediate lovemaking.

When they moved back, she kissed his cheek again and snuggled into him.

His arms wrapped tightly around her for a second before loosening. "Why is that? I mean you don't hold it against me but I know you're always aware of it. How do you do that?"

She hummed before answering, giving herself time to think about her wording. "I know what loving an alcoholic means." She moved back to look at him. "It can be painful, yes, but it's just a _part_ of the person. You've been sober for twenty years and _that_ tells me more about who you are than knowing you will always be an alcoholic."

"See, you're good at compartmentalizing and I'm lucky because you do it all the time. But some people -…" He trailed off as he turned to look back towards the railing.

Knowing he'd soon need to pace, she moved further away but still maintained physical contact so he'd know she wasn't withdrawing. "I asked Rusty, when we were speaking about his mother, while it's a risk to trust and love an addict, what do we gain by _not_ doing so? Andy, if we don't give people second chances, we'll never know what we might've gained." She looked at him intently while continuing her thought. "I've gained _so_ much by loving you."

"You have _no_ idea how much better my life is with you, Sharon," he rasped before pulling her into a tight embrace. "Taking a chance on me after everything Jack put you through… I just still can't believe it sometimes."

"You're taking a chance on me after everything we've gone through at work. Andy, you knew me as the enemy in IA more than as Jack's wife and yet you've looked past that to see me for who I _really_ am. We have _both_ taken the time to get to know one another and _that's_ why we work."

His heart beat a little faster as he leaned in closer and covered her mouth with his. The way she loved him always had that effect and he poured his emotions into their kiss as much as she did.

When they moved apart, he shared his conversation with Rusty. "He thought I wasn't an alcoholic anymore because I don't drink but I made sure he understood that I _am_. I told him I'm an alcoholic who doesn't drink because I know what I have to lose. You, my job, my kids…it's all too important for me to lose over booze." Standing up, he walked back over to the railing. "I told him that sometimes not giving an addict in recovery another chance hurts him more than the addict," he admitted.

"That's very true," she agreed, joining him. "I think Rusty's views are still colored by pain. Gus has a better understanding of forgiveness and second chances but he's also had more experience in the world. He shares that with Rusty though," she paused, "very _patiently_ usually."

"Your son does take patience," he agreed, then added, "and I mean _nothing_ more than that."

She giggled as she answered. "I know you don't and I'm fully aware that he requires a great deal at times."

Stepping behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "How is he doing with the whole little sister thing?"

"Much better since he went with her for the ultrasound. He got to see for himself that the baby is a real little person in there. He acknowledged his mother has been clean for two years and that she's trying." Turning in his arms, she faced him as she completed her thoughts. " _Somehow_ , and now I think I know how, he came to the decision that if his mother wants to keep the baby then she should because she deserves a second chance. They had a conversation about her moving in with Gary's parents and raising the baby together to avoid giving her up for adoption."

"I'm glad he's open to that. It's important for Sharon Beck to feel supported, _especially_ by her son." He kissed her forehead. "Knowing your kids believe in you is so important," he murmured before pulling her back to him again. "It's _so_ important," he quietly repeated.

"That's why I've always wanted my children to maintain a relationship with their father. It has it's ups and downs but, as it stands now, Emily and Ricky won't have any regrets about not trying if something ever happens to Jack."

"You're a terrific mother, Sharon, and," he moved to look at her, "a terrific girlfriend." He ghosted his lips over hers. "I can't wait for us to start our lives together in the same house," he murmured before their lips met in a passionate kiss.

"Neither can I," she whispered against his lips before letting their next kiss heat up even more.

The trip to her bedroom seemed never-ending. Once inside, clothes were removed quickly but the kisses, caresses and lovemaking were slow. They enjoyed the intimacy between them even more after their latest conversation. It was in times when they were their most raw emotionally that they felt closest physically.

Afterwards, snuggled together, Andy mentioned speaking with the agent and asking how much consultants got paid.

Sighing, Sharon then chuckled at his obsession, as she considered it, with Mike and his consulting work.

"Did you know they get paid per _episode_?" he asked with a mixture of excitement and annoyance.

Chuckling again, she told him, "Yes, I knew that." Moving to look at him closely, she added, "I'm not with you for money or fame. I love you just the way you are, Andy."

Before he let her kiss him, he ran his hand through her hair while the other moved up and down her back. "I love you just the way you are too, Sharon." He knew that Jack had left scars and doubts and he was always more than willing to reassure her, even if it was a time when she didn't think she needed it like just then.

The smile on her face before they kissed told him it was one of those times. "I'm very lucky," she whispered as she settled her head back on his chest.

"Me too," he murmured, "and I never forget that."

"Neither do I," she responded with a kiss just over his heart.

Finding love again at their ages was something to celebrate, to continue strengthening and nurturing, and to count as a blessing. They were both mature enough to know what they had each found in the other and to hope they never lost it.

Sometimes in life, one just has to take chances.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	8. Timing

_**Timing**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.9; "Congratulations, Andy," she whispered before kissing him.

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever so appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

The first chance he got, Provenza cornered Flynn. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?! What'd I do now?" his partner asked innocently.

"You sold your house, idiot, and told the Captain in Electronics. Where is your damn head lately?" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "First you're taking calls and making counteroffers at a crime scene then you're dropping personal information at work. _Ye_ _Gods_ , Flynn, get it together."

"I'm excited. This is one step closer to me and Sharon moving in together," he explained.

"Well, you keep mixing business and pleasure outside of her office and see how fast she changes her mind," the older man warned. Then softening his tone, he continued. "Look, Flynn, I'm happy for you, I really am. I don't wanna see you screw this up so start using your damn head." Seeing his best friend nod in agreement had Provenza walking back to his desk before something else came out of Flynn's mouth.

Deciding against going straight back to his own desk, Flynn made his way to the Captain's office. Knocking as he entered, he greeted her sheepishly.

"Is everything all right between you and the Lieutenant?" she asked as she looked up from her work.

"He was just reminding me what an idiot I am for mixing business with pleasure," he explained.

"I thought he was on board with us dating?" she asked, confusion evident in her expression.

"Oh, he is," he quickly clarified, "he was getting on me for telling ya my house sold while you were in Electronics."

"I'll have to thank him," she teased, quirking her eyebrow, "that's one less conversation to have tonight."

Smirking at him relaxed him enough to ask, "So we go straight to celebrating?"

"Maybe," she mused, "but we still might have to touch on the balance we have to maintain in our lives."

"I know, Sharon, and I'm sorry for just blurting it out but I just got so excited that there's one less barrier in our way."

"I am too, Andy, and we _will_ celebrate tonight."

The little hum that escaped her throat as she thought of how they'd celebrate had him fixing his trousers as inconspicuously as possible before leaving her office.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

He apologized again as they entered the elevator in her building and kissed her temple as they rode up to her condo. Upon entering, she reminded him of the responsibilities that came with being his boss and dating him, despite it being permissible.

"I know you have to be as professional as you've always been, Sharon, and the whole team knows you are. Hell, Taylor knows you are _and_ the Pope. I just got excited."

"The Pope?" she laughed. "You _still_ call him that?"

"He _still_ thinks he is," he huffed.

Making their way into the kitchen area, she put the kettle on for tea. "Congratulations, Andy," she whispered before kissing him. They let themselves get lost a few moments before she brought up her next topic for conversation. "We had better find our house soon." Quickly turning off the boiling kettle, she poured their tea into mugs and let them set.

Scratching behind his neck, he began to shuffle in place. "I've been thinking about that and, the thing is, I don't want to rent a place because that sticks me with a lease." Sighing, "I don't want to wait that long for us to live together."

"Neither do I," she agreed quickly. "I've been thinking too," she paused, "since you told me. If the closing happens before ours," she briefly hesitated, "my home is small but we could make do until we find the house we really want."

"Are you sure? Because I thought you were worried it'd be too much for Rusty." The kid wasn't being as much of a pain about their relationship anymore but Flynn still didn't want to rock the boat.

"You're here often enough that he's to used it by now _and_ you're both getting along _much_ better lately." She said a silent prayer thanking God regarding the last part of her statement. It was difficult being in the middle, loving them both in each their own way, when Rusty seemed dead set against their relationship progressing.

"That is true, on both accounts," he agreed. "So, it'd be okay? Because I'm gonna have to move out before I close."

"You are more than welcome here, Andy," she assured him. "You will need a storage unit, of course, but _you_ are always welcome in my home."

"So, we might be living together sooner than we thought," he murmured, moving closer to her.

"So it seems," she practically purred, moving into his arms, losing no time in leaving a trail of warm kisses down his neck.

Feeling himself responding, he asked if Rusty would be coming home. "We don't want to have to look for eye bleach," he teased.

"That's what my bedroom is for," she husked between nips, licks and kisses.

"Wouldn't that be _our_ bedroom?" he asked as he moved to capture her mouth with his.

"It's _my_ bedroom until you move in," she corrected, her hand moving to massage his bulge.

"Oh, so does that mean _you're_ the boss? Because I thought we were equal here," he began then thought of an interesting avenue. "Well, if you're the boss in _your_ bedroom," he kissed her passionately, "that means I should do whatever you want, right."

"I hadn't thought of that but I like it," she replied, sliding his suspenders down.

During their next kiss, he untucked her blouse and ran his hands along her skin. "I'm more than willing to follow orders," he rasped.

Following his train of thought, "You'd do anything?" she asked playfully.

"Within reason and keeping our ages in mind," he managed as his mind filled with one image after another, "but yeah, I'm pretty open to doing anything you want."

"The possibilities," she whispered just before kissing him deeper than they had thus far.

They were too lost in one another to notice Rusty had entered the condo and was quietly walking towards the dining room. Upon noticing them locked in a passionate embrace, he cringed, wished he had eye bleach then quietly yet quickly walked towards his bedroom.

None the wiser, when they finally moved apart, they headed towards hers.

Once inside, they undressed between heated kisses. She had just offered to let him move in, if need be, and he couldn't wait to celebrate both that and selling his home.

In bed, hands touched everywhere slowly, raising their temperatures and desires. During a particularly heated kiss, she rolled on top of him, then moved further up until her core was above his face. His groan sent chills through her body as his tongue flicking her nub made every nerve ending tingle. Fingers on the top of the headboard for support, she leaned back as he worked his magic.

Offering to let him move in meandered through her thoughts and she found herself even more content with that decision than when she had first mentioned it. His hands sliding over her bare skin as his tongue flicked and circled her nub increased her breathing just before she began moaning his name. As she fell over the edge, her forehead leaned against the material headboard until her body stopped shaking.

Moving to kiss him, she then positioned herself to slide slowly down his member as he whispered her name, so ready for her to bring him to his own climax once she had come again. She worked him up, moving quickly only to slow down almost painfully, then repeated her actions as he moaned and thrust into her seeking release. Each time he was close, she'd change the pace to prolong their lovemaking. Finally falling over the edge again, she maintained quick thrusts and he joined her.

Snuggled together as their breathing regulated, she heard him murmur, "You can be the boss in here whenever you want."

"So can you," she whispered back.

Acknowledging the kind of trust that statement entailed, he kissed the top of her head and rasped, "I love you, Sharon."

"I love you too, Andy." Looking up at him, she added, "and congratulations again on selling your house."

"I've really grown to love your sense of occasion," he said, wiggling an eyebrow.

With a smirk, she murmured, "So I've noticed," and went back to snuggling into him.

They were in the midst of joining their lives and so, she decided, not everything had to work out exactly according to how she planned them. The two of them living together in her condo, if need be, was a good compromise until they found the perfect house for all three of them; a house they'd make their home.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	9. Facing Danger

_**Facing Danger**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.10; "I'll be all right," she whispered in his ear.

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever so appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Andy and Sharon had long gotten to the point in their relationship where either one could suggest he stay over at her condo. Knowing the threat Dwight Darnell presented to the Major Crimes team now that they were investigating the Zyclon Brotherhood for the murder of Mark's mother Ava, Andy needed to spend time with Sharon outside of work. Having been told by her, while still in the office, about the implied threat to Taylor, the boast that Henry would never testify against him, and the Aryan salute to her after saying he understood they would _both_ fight for their cause, Andy needed their time together to be of only a personal nature. Knowing Sharon as he did by then, he was sure they'd talk about work before they could put it aside for the night.

Fortunately for him, most of the discussion took place over dinner. Sharon seemed concerned but not overly cautious. She was used to taking things as they happened. While she did look at all angles and planned accordingly, she was comfortable waiting to see how things played out before becoming too anxious. Andy, on the other hand, tended to look at hypotheticals and usually negative ones at that. It wasn't good for his health; his blood pressure tended to spike when he became overly worried about the safety of his loved ones and he could feel the flush on his chest as they spoke.

After the explosion, they had briefly made eye contact and gone back to work. It was enough to reassure her he was all right and vice versa. While she may have been out of harm's way in the van, he knew she saw everything that happened and would be worried about any member of her team getting injured. Her heart would worry more about him. It wasn't until they'd gone back to PAB and everyone was working on their piece of the ZB puzzle that she'd signaled for him to come into her office. After a brief discussion, he was up to speed on where she was emotionally beneath her Captain's mask and he'd suggested staying at her place because they needed to reconnect and discuss Darnell further. She also wanted to bounce ideas back and forth regarding the missing weapons, who might be the leader of ZB and update him on Mark being notified by Dr Joe his mother was dead. Such a harsh reality for an eight year old who already spewed hatred via learned behavior, who already knew he needed to act tougher than he really was, and who already experienced what being homeless meant.

When they'd finally gotten to discussing Mark, Andy made sure to speak up for Julio, praising his fast connection to the boy despite the racist comments he had to endure. While Sharon agreed that Julio was coming from a place of love, she didn't always like how he went about it. There was a possibility of him being too emotionally involved to protect Mark as he should without endangering himself. While Sharon understood the love of a parent and the fierce need to protect one's children, she also knew the parent had to react appropriately and make wise choices. She feared Julio might not, based on his desire to protect Mark at all cost. Andy pointed out the boy was a target because he knew too much about the members of ZB but Sharon held to her belief that Julio needed to be observed and that he alone would not be responsible for the boy's safety. The _team_ would keep Mark safe.

She had deliberately held off discussing Dwight Darnell any further until they were already sitting on the couch with their coffees. Throughout their conversation, Andy had been easily agitated and she could tell it was because of the danger ZB, and Darnell specifically, brought into all of their lives. Aware of that when she took over the case, she hadn't thought at the time how it would affect them personally. She was simply looking for justice for a woman murdered for trying to help put ZB members behind bars.

Getting to the heart of the matter quickly, Sharon set her mug on the coffee table and reached out for Andy's hand as he did the same. Reminding him she had to be in Court with Taylor for the trial, she saw the flush creep further up his neck and cover his cheeks. Trying to reassure him they would all be safe in the halls of justice didn't work as easily as she had hoped it would. He knew all too well that weapons slipped passed guards and people were murdered in courtrooms nationwide. Gangs like ZB, and he emphasized they _were_ a gang, put hits out on Judges, prosecutors and law enforcement all the time. As Lieutenant Flynn, he understood Captain Raydor needed to be there but as Andy he didn't want Sharon in danger. Realizing there was nothing she could say to change that, or even lessen it to any degree, she merely pulled him close to her.

"I'll be all right," she whispered in his ear.

He began to say something but changed his mind before a word escaped. Instead, he kissed her softly and slowly, keeping his hands still, holding her close. Rusty would be home, they already knew, so both were aware of the need to move into her bedroom. But there was time for that and neither were ready or willing to let go of the other just yet. Deepening the kiss, she squirmed a little and his hands began to move over her slowly.

"I love you," she managed between kisses and he immediately repeated the sentiment. When she moved back enough to look at him, she saw the concern set deep in his eyes and her heart hurt for him. "I'll be fine," tumbled out of her mouth despite knowing how useless the words really were. It was an assurance, one she was used to saying, but when it came to people like the members of ZB, it could also be seen as an empty promise.

Her boyfriend saw right through the words so he chose instead to pay attention to their _purpose_. With that in mind, he replied, "I know you will be. You can take care of yourself very well. Plus, Taylor will be there and he doesn't want to lose one of his favorite Captains." It was what they did as cops. It was what they could do as civilians. It was what they said when the truth wouldn't help.

Standing up, she tugged his hand and they made their way slowly to her bedroom. Once inside, they sat on her bed caressing one another, not a word spoken. In times like these, words weren't necessary. The members of ZB could do unspeakable harm to any or all of them. Words wouldn't change anything, not that night or on any other.

Amidst the touches, they shared tender kisses which eventually became more heated as they thought of the possibilities they dared not say aloud. They were so close to sharing their lives in a more cohesive way, living together, and no gang member was going to change that. Both had been a cop long enough to know that wishing it didn't always make it so.

Slowly they undressed one another, still not a word uttered by either. Throughout the entire evening, Andy had showed his concern openly to Sharon. She, on the other hand, had tempered hers for his sake. It was only as they began to make love, when she redirected him from bringing her to climax with his hand first that he realized just how deeply concerned she was. It comforted him to know, and feel, she was sharing that with him after all. Kissing her more passionately than he had that night, he rolled over her and entered her, moving slowly the entire time. They both knew why; no explanations were needed when one had over thirty years on the job.

Soft moans and whispered names filled the air of her bedroom. They were sharing love, hope and concern that night. As hard as she tried, Sharon realized it wasn't always possible to completely balance both her worlds when it came to Andy. She just had to balance what she could and do it well.

When she had to stifle the moan that escaped her throat as she climaxed, he let himself ride the waves with her. As they kissed afterwards, she felt him smile against her lips before pulling away to look at her. He didn't move off her; neither ready to let go just yet.

"I know you're gonna be safe in Court, but if that Darnell ever did anything to you," he began but she interrupted.

"Shh, Andy, I'll be fine." She kissed him gently. "I'm not going anywhere." Kissing him again, she assured him, " _We're_ not going anywhere." She held him tightly to her, both with her arms and her legs. Completely enveloped by her, he kissed her neck and breathed in her scent. After a moment, he moved off her, holding onto her so she rolled with him; legs entangled, her head lay on his chest, just above his heart. The steady beat calmed her.

They were career law enforcement. They knew what cops dealt with every day. Whether it was out on the streets, within the confines of their police stations or in the halls of the justice system, there were hazards with which they had to face.

Though hoping for the best was the option law enforcement members chose, realistically they knew that any minute of any day might signal their end of watch. The hope was always to make it through their shift and go home to their loved ones.

To reassure the man with whom she planned to spend the remainder of her life, Sharon would act as if that hope was their reality. That was life when you were always facing danger.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	10. Aftermath

_**Aftermath**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.11; When events happen in a person's life, there is always an emotional aftermath. For Sharon and Andy, perhaps the worst of things were yet to come but in the end, they both knew, _together_ was how they wanted to face anything.

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever so appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Andy had been keeping an eye on Sharon from a distance throughout the day. They'd gone about their work, each wanting to close this case and end the danger as quickly as possible. The team was busy; they were all trying to fit the pieces of the ZB puzzle together and put an end to the gang and the hazards they brought to so many people's lives. Despite that, they each, in their own way, were keeping an eye on their Captain. Andy, however, was more concerned about Sharon. The _Captain_ was fine; she was working, handling all the angles of the case, keeping everyone going and motivated even more than they already were. _Sharon_ was the one who needed support, even if she didn't know it or ask for any. Sharon was the Catholic who should feel bad about taking a man's life but didn't, not right now anyway and she wasn't sure if she ever would. Sharon was the woman he loved and would do anything to protect from life's pain; she'd had enough of that already. So while the team members spoke up to clarify things their Captain left unsaid, Andy observed his girlfriend and was worried about what he saw.

When it came time for her to dismiss the team for a while to refresh, spend time with their loved ones, sleep and mourn Taylor in whatever way they chose, Andy slipped into the Captain's office behind her. Letting her get settled before he spoke was creating some anxiety inside him. He was going to push his girlfriend, he knew, and that rattled him on many levels. Andy wasn't one to push her on anything and Sharon wasn't one to allow it if she disagreed.

"You should go home, Andy," she told him, looking directly at him.

"I'm waiting for you," he replied with a shrug.

"I meant _your_ home," she corrected.

"My home is with you, Sharon," he explained. "It was a rough day and I'm not leaving you alone to deal with it." When she began to interrupt, he spoke quicker. "I don't care if you have a huge glass of wine while I'm grabbing dinner. I don't care if you and Rusty don't talk to me the whole time. I don't care if I sleep on the couch. I'm going _home_ , where I belong, with you."

"Fine," she breathed out in and began opening the drawer that held her purse.

"Thank you," he whispered as she passed him on their way out.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

While Andy was getting the take-out, Sharon was home enjoying a glass of wine. Rusty was there with her and she silently prayed for patience and energy to deal with both he and her boyfriend worrying about her. She could take care of herself.

"How are you?" her son asked hesitantly.

"I'm fine, Rusty, it's part of the job," she answered more dismissively than she meant.

"It's a part you're not used to though," he countered.

"Because I wasn't a real cop during my career in IA and FID?" she retorted.

"That's _not_ what I meant, Sharon," he quickly began to explain. "The team, they're used to it. They keep track of who shouldn't be shooting people. But you, well, you're their boss. Nobody expects the _boss_ to be doing the same thing as the team."

She flattened her lips together as she thought. "I was there and the situation needed to be handled. Dwight Darnell was a threat to everyone in that Courtroom so I eliminated the threat." Taking a sip of wine, she signaled she was done explaining.

"I know what you mean, Sharon, but Dr Joe would say that's a very clinical way of looking at things."

"Dr Joe would be correct," she sighed.

Andy wasn't sure what he'd walked into but he made the decision to ignore whatever it was. Placing the bags on the dining table, he began unpacking the contents as he greeted the kitchen's inhabitants.

As they ate, Rusty noticed they weren't interacting as they usually did so he asked about it. "Did you guys have a fight or something? Because it's feeling a little weird right now."

"We didn't fight," Andy answered, "I just let Sharon know I was being here for her. I made it clear she didn't have to talk to me if she didn't want to but that I _was_ being here for her."

That confused the young man. He knew they were in love and planning to buy a house together. He knew they made it look easy when it was not. He knew Sharon had been there for Andy and that he would do the same in return. "I don't understand, Sharon, you didn't want Andy with you tonight?"

"I thought it would be best if he went home," she answered gently.

"I told her my home is with her," the older man offered between bites.

"Yeah, like, Sharon, what would you do if this happened after we were all living together? Would you ask him to go stay with Lt Provenza?"

"Of course I wouldn't," she exclaimed. "I can take care of myself. I have for a very long time." Getting up, she grabbed her wine glass and went for a refill.

"No one is saying you can't," Andy began as he turned, "I'm just saying you don't always _have_ to which is what you told me, by the way."

Returning to her seat, she smiled at him for the first time that evening. "I did, didn't I?"

"Yes, and I agreed with you that I should accept your help because when you love someone, it's an equal partnership and neither person should have to deal with everything on his or her own."

"Oh, he remembered your exact words, Sharon. That sounds _just_ like you," her son teased.

"They are," she acknowledged with a small chuckle. Though she wanted to reach out for her boyfriend's hand, something inside stopped her from doing so. Deciding she wasn't ready to share just yet, she went back to eating.

By the time they finished dinner, their conversation flowed with ease. Rusty had been texting often between bites so when he stood up and excused himself, they weren't surprised to hear him announce, "Um, Gus suggested maybe it would be a good idea for me to go over there tonight and give you two some room after what happened today."

"Hmm, that's a good idea," his mother agreed quickly, surprising both men.

Andy and Sharon cleaned up while Rusty went to pack an overnight bag. Turning on the stove, she placed he kettle on to boil for some tea. By the time her son came to say good-bye, kiss and hug her, she was pouring the hot water into the mugs.

Andy took both mugs into the living room, placing one at each end of the coffee table and sitting down in the far corner of the couch. He looked at her but didn't say a word.

Moving her mug closer to his, she told him, "You don't have to sit so far away from me."

"I didn't want to intrude on your personal space more than I already have," he explained, a roughness to his voice he couldn't hide.

"You don't have to be afraid to talk to me either," she murmured as she sat down close enough to him for their knees to touch once she'd folded her legs under her.

"I said you didn't have to talk to me if you didn't want to so I was planning on waiting till you did," he explained, the roughness still there.

"It's not that I didn't want you here, Andy," she began then paused, "I do. I love that your home is with me." Her eyes began to moisten. "I love that you want to be here to support me." Her next breath came out a little ragged and she stopped speaking to compose herself. "I love you, Andy," she whispered.

"I love you too, Sharon," he whispered back.

After running a hand through her hair, she locked eyes with him. "I'm not used to this," she began but cut herself off again. "You have _always_ been here for me," she assured him, "but something like this, something so big, I'm not used to sharing. I'm just used to taking care of myself." She knew what it sounded like but he needed to understand her hesitation. She wasn't shutting him out. She wasn't asking to be alone. She was merely doing what she did.

"I know when you were married to Jack you had to take care of yourself and the kids, Sharon. I just want you to see that it's different with me. I'm here for you." Sighing, he added, "I just want you to know that."

This time she let herself reach out to him and her hand landed on his shoulder. "I _do_ know that, Andy." Shaking her head, "Old habits are sometimes hard to change but I'm trying. I have been working on myself."

"You've done a great job," he assured her.

"There are just some things, some times, I don't know how -," she murmured before looking away.

"I'm not asking you to force anything here, Sharon. I'm just here for you, that's it, with no expectations."

She noticed he hadn't tried to hold her yet and realized she wanted nothing more at that moment than to be wrapped in his arms. Moving towards him, he seemed to pick up what she needed so he adjusted his legs to make room for her to lay on him. He had kicked his shoes off as he sat down so he swung one leg on the couch and left the other touching the floor. She folded herself into him, sighing as she wrapped her arms around his middle and settled her head on his shoulder. His hand immediately held her head in place as his other spread across her back.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Andy," she rasped.

"Whatever feels right, Sharon. Whatever you need to do to come out of this okay," he told her softly, that roughness reappearing.

"I wasn't shutting you out," she tried to reassure them both.

"You tried," he called her on it. He understood why she felt the need to be alone but he wasn't the one who made her learn that lesson. He _would_ be the one to teach her new lessons though, he'd decided long ago after hearing some of the stories of what Jack had put her through. He would try his damndest to ease some of the emotional scars she still carried deep inside.

"Only because that's what I know," she rasped.

"I'm gonna show you new things to know," he promised.

"You already have," she whispered, looking up at him. Leaning forward, she captured his lips in a soft kiss. It was slow and gentle, meant to be nothing more than a brief connection between words.

"I'm trying," he rasped when they moved apart.

Her eyes closed of their own accord when she saw his moisten as he spoke. "You're succeeding," she replied, laying her head back on his shoulder. Again, his hand held it in place.

They lay there for several minutes in comfortable silence. They had reconnected; it was what both needed, even if she'd initially thought otherwise.

His back beginning to hurt, he moved his other leg up onto the couch and she scooted herself over some to allow for his entire body to fit. Both his calves now rested over hers. He felt like a blanket keeping her warm and safe.

"I don't feel bad that I killed Dwight," she shared softly.

"That'll come later," he paused, "or it never will. You eliminated a threat, Sharon. You did a good thing, the _right_ thing, but the emotional aftermath, that'll happen when it happens." He kissed her temple. "Whatever you feel is what you need to feel at the time. There's no rulebook for this, as much as I'm sure you'd prefer there was."

"It'd be nice," she agreed.

They went back to being silent again. He knew she was still processing. Emotions couldn't be rushed; neither could an understanding of unexpected events in one's life.

"I should feel bad," she whispered out of nowhere.

"You should feel however you feel," he corrected. Then it dawned on him. "Because you're Catholic?"

"Yes," she breathed out. "I feel guilty because I don't feel bad that I killed someone."

"You killed a racist dirtbag who took five people's lives before you took him down." The anger in his voice couldn't be missed. "Taylor threw me under the bus years ago but he didn't deserve what he got. His wife, his kids, they didn't deserve this."

"He should've gone home to them like he always did." Her arms tightened around him. "They _all_ should've gone home like they always did," she added quietly.

"Do you feel guilty that you're home, Sharon?" He'd begun wondering just how deep her guilt went, how many areas it covered.

"No, I don't," she looked at him again. "I don't have survivor's guilt, Andy. I just have Catholic guilt. I should feel bad for taking that young man's life and I don't. I feel very sad that we lost Chief Taylor and the others but I don't feel bad about _Dwight_. That's what I'm trying to figure out, what I'm trying to wrap my head around." Putting her head back on his shoulder, she heaved a huge sigh.

"That part will come to you, Sharon. I swear you'll feel something." He'd shot enough people throughout his career to know feelings of some kind always showed up. He could promise her that much. He just couldn't promise her that they'd be the feelings she was hoping to have. The honest truth, he knew, was that she might never feel bad for killing Dwight the way she believed she should, the way her religion probably suggested.

"I just may never feel bad is what you won't say," she guessed.

"Yeah, that's what I kept to myself. You'll feel what you feel, Sharon, and it won't be a case of wrong or right because it'll be right for _you_. It'll be what _you_ can handle at the time. Nobody, not even your Priest, can tell you how you should feel as you go through this process. That's all up to you."

They remained like that for another five minutes. They both knew they couldn't stay in that position for much longer or the aches and pains reminding him of his age would soon appear.

Still wanting to show her that he was there for her in whatever way she needed, he began a series of short questions not meant to tax but teach her.

"Reheat or new tea?" he asked.

"New, please," she responded.

"Shower or bath?" came next.

"Hot shower, as hot as possible," she replied immediately.

"Alone or with me?" he quietly teased.

"With you," she answered without hesitation then looked up at him. "Thank you, Andy," she whispered before covering his lips with her own for another slow, deep kiss. "Thank you," she whispered again when they moved apart and she began to sit up so he could shake out his limbs.

"New lessons, Sharon," he rasped before kissing her again after he'd gotten the kinks out.

"New lessons, Andy," she breathed against his lips before wrapping her arms around him again. This was new but nice, she decided. Things were _so_ very different with Andy and she found herself cherishing him more with each passing day, but most especially in times such as these.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

They continued talking about things here and there as he made them new tea and they drank it. She offered no resistance when he took her hand and led her down to her bedroom to prepare for their shower.

As she undressed, she looked every bit her age but he told her she was beautiful and kissed her deeply because he meant it. He turned the water on then asked her if she thought talking to her Priest might help with her inner conflicts. She wasn't sure but said she'd think about it. She was _tired_.

As the spray washed over her, Sharon felt the day begin to wash away. The smell of gunfire; the smell, sight and feel of blood; the stress and tension; it all went down the drain with the water as Andy gently washed first her face where blood had sprayed then her body as she took care of washing her hair. She realized that her attention was again split as she washed the shampoo out and felt his soapy hands float over her body with gentle caresses. When there was neither soap nor shampoo left on her, she switched places with him and he quickly washed himself off intending to hold onto her again as quickly as possible. Knowing she needed the hot water for her muscles a little while longer, he switched places again and with her under the spray, he pressed into her, kissing her so slowly it reminded her of their very first real kiss.

"I'm glad you didn't go home," she whispered into his ear as he left a trail of kisses up and down her neck.

"I _did_ go home," he corrected before capturing her mouth with his. He'd told her the truth earlier; home was with her.

Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her just then. She wasn't sure why but she pulled away to look at him. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't," he defended.

She smiled because she knew he wouldn't lie to her about something like that; because her heart was suddenly flooded with more emotion for that man than she thought possible; and because she couldn't imagine going through this without him there with her. "I know that, Andy, I'm just -," she sighed. "You're home with me." She kissed him passionately then and they decided their shower had lasted long enough.

They made love slowly. The day was harder than usual. The stress brought on aches. They were learning new things about one another and getting even closer than before. Tomorrow would be another day of going after the members of ZB and her appointment with Behavioral Sciences. Tomorrow might bring her the feelings she wanted but it might not.

At the end of the day, they found themselves in each other's arms, dealing with the events of the day in their own way yet together. They found themselves unsure of what the future might hold, especially in light of their case, but certain they'd get there as a couple.

When events happen in a person's life, there is always an emotional aftermath. For Sharon and Andy, perhaps the worst of things were yet to come but in the end, they both knew, _together_ was how they wanted to face anything.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	11. Feeling Again

_**Feeling Again**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.12; They just had to keep coming _home_ to one another and keep _feeling_ or, at the very least, as she was doing on that night, feeling _again_.

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever so appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Going to Church was exactly what Sharon needed. Speaking with her Priest, having him tell her like it is, gave her a sense of serenity she'd been lacking since killing Dwight Darnell. The serenity alone wasn't what she was seeking. She needed _absolution_ : from not feeling bad for killing Dwight; from feeling guilty for not feeling bad; from taking a life and not caring what happened to his soul.

Her Priest pointed out that everyone in her life, personal and professional, had already absolved her, yet she was _still_ seeking it. " _The Lord holds you nearer for seeking absolution where none is required_." His words began to seep into her heart and make her wonder.

" _Those who chase monsters must not become them._ " She believed that wholeheartedly, yet she ended a young man's life and didn't worry about redemption for his soul.

" _I absolve you whether you want it or not_." She'd begun to cry because it was what she went there seeking. Because she began to feel again and it hurt her heart when she realized the only way her true absolution could be attained.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

Speaking with Wildred Darnell was difficult, and perhaps not advisable to some. But it was worth it in the end for Sharon.

As a mother, she understood the grief Ms Darnell would be experiencing over the loss of her child. A loss brought on both by his actions in Court that day and by the reactions of herself in the role of Captain. Dwight was a grown, albeit young, man who needed to be stopped before he killed anyone else. Captain Raydor was in perfect position to end his killing spree and she did; three bullets in rapid succession to the chest just as she was trained.

As she spoke with Wildred, the grieving mother offered the other side to Dwight: The boy who made her Mother's Day cards and who, while growing up, had friends of all races; the boy missing his daddy but who was well taken care of by his mom and grandparents. " _Poverty didn't get us here_."

Wildred Darnell then spoke the words that Sharon Raydor most needed to hear. " _I understand." There_ was the absolution she so badly needed and it brought tears to her eyes and her voice cracked when she found her words.

" _I_ _think you do understand_." In that instant, her heart clenched for the grief Wildred, the _mother_ , felt for losing her child whilst simultaneously understanding her son needed to be stopped.

The last two years had changed Dwight. _Graff_ had changed him. Treating him like his son was what the young man craved and he'd do anything to keep it. Wildred lost her son long before Sharon took his life. Both women sitting at that table knew it. Dwight dying after his massacre was a given. The young man knew he wouldn't make it out alive. He was a worthy soldier.

Captain Raydor eliminated the threat. But it was _Sharon_ who needed the absolution that only one person could offer. " _I understand_." She got exactly that.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

To the team, when Sharon went back to work, she looked as tired yet driven as she had when she'd left. But to Andy, who knew her much better, she had a sense of calm about her that was absent prior to her leaving. He knew she found tranquility within the confines of her Church and she found serenity from speaking with her Priest. He just hoped she found what she was _really_ seeking. Something he couldn't offer her because they saw things too differently. He hoped she found absolution and discovered that she indeed cared what happened to Dwight's soul. Loving her, holding her, and speaking with and listening to her, all told him that's what was missing. Her _faith_ wouldn't allow her to see Dwight as just a dirtbag, someone who deserved to die. Her faith meant she had to find a way to care about his soul. Andy really hoped Father had found success in the one area he couldn't.

Sharon noticed her team still looked at her a little too closely sometimes as they worked. They were waiting. Waiting for her to show a crack about Dwight's death and her role in it. Waiting for her to show emotion, perhaps remorse, for taking his life. Waiting for her to care as deeply as they've come to know she does. They watched her and they waited. They got their Captain.

Finally they got their dismissal for the evening. " _We are all exhausted_." They didn't get what they thought, or hoped, they would. So when Provenza was leaving, he'd given Andy the unspoken message to take care of her, knowing full well his best friend would. Love was funny like that.

~~~~~# # #~~~~~

Sharon and Andy made their ways home, shared dinner and tea, some conversation and completed their nightly routine.

When they'd gone to sleep, Andy thought it'd be for the night. They _were_ all exhausted and needed their rest to go up against the White Power Movement army of Graff's followers. They were dangerous people who thought nothing of taking lives. Tired police officers would not bring the wrath and fury necessary when going against them.

Sharon, on the other hand, had many things on her mind. It took time to settle into sleep and her dreams brought no escape. She saw Dwight injure Dr Joe, kill DDA Rosen and his own attorney, then Assistant Chief Taylor. She saw herself shoot Dwight to stop the threat. Three shots to the chest as she was trained and would, therefore, be cleared. A fourth shot to his head would've broken protocol. Though she thought of it, she didn't do it. It wasn't in her to be a killer. She saw herself hesitate though and the chill that ran through her is what brought her out of deep sleep.

In a light sleep, Sharon was reminded of not feeling bad about Dwight's death. She was reminded that Andy saw him merely as just another dirtbag. She was reminded that he was a young man who died and his soul needed to be cradled into the Afterlife and blessed anew to be filled with the Light he'd somehow lost over the last two years. She was reminded of his own mother's words. " _I understand_."

When the tears filled her eyes, she got out of bed to sit in her living room. _Their_ living room now. " _I'm cohabitating with a man to whom I'm not married_." Sitting in the side chair that allowed her the best view of their city, she allowed herself time to introspect and feel.

The words of her Priest in combination with the words of Wildred Darnell had opened her heart and she felt again. While understanding she had to shoot Dwight to stop his massacre, she was now able to feel bad for taking the life of another mother's child. She was now able to hope his soul was restored and found Life in the Hereafter. She was now able to understand and better appreciate the differences with which she and Andy saw life and death. They were both Catholic. But her faith was stronger than his in the sense that her faith guided her life and decisions. His sense of right and wrong was more justice-driven whereas hers was more faith-driven. That was something they'd figured out thanks in large part to this case. That was a part of loving someone, of sharing your life with them; to have the opportunity to witness differences and work through them.

Though lost in thought, she immediately heard him call her name. She hadn't intended to wake him and was glad to find he woke of his own accord because she wasn't there next to him. There was a fire that began to burn inside upon hearing those words. Taking her hand and kissing it made the fire burn a little brighter. It was the act of a gentleman. The act of the man she loved and who loved her equally in return. The act of a police officer who knew she'd taken a life with that hand and was still dealing with the consequences of that action. And in the end, it was just _Andy_. He'd shown her many times during their relationship that he was there for her, no matter what the circumstances.

Sharon was happy to be able to let him know that she was starting to feel again. Seeing the relief on his face told her more than any words ever could how worried he'd been about her. Her mind always working, always racing to close a case as quickly as possible, she began turning over what they already knew in her head. " _Who has that much weight?_ " That person was the silent partner to Graff. That person pulled the strings and called for violence. That person caused a vacuum of power in her own workplace. That person needed to be caught immediately but was as yet unidentified and therein laid the problem. " _Who has that much weight?_ "

Andy listened to her carefully. Glad she was getting what she needed, feeling again, in regards to Dwight. Glad she was working through the case as she always did. Worried that she looked so tired, much more than the others. Knew it was the aftermath of her actions and the initial lack of faith-based reaction as well as the anticipation of more danger based on the dire warning Graff gave her before leaving their Murder Room. He was worried and in love and looking to show her that he could still take care of her, even if he didn't believe Dwight deserved a second thought.

Never letting go of her hand, Andy rose from his kneeling position, walked over to Sharon and knelt in front of her. Her smile was relaxed as she reached out to him with her free hand. They'd already discussed marriage. He knew of her hesitation in getting remarried so soon, hence the decision to live together. It was still his silent hope that one day she'd marry him. But until then, he was happy sharing their lives the way they were.

She had moved her legs out from under her. They were now around him loosely. Her hand was in his hair, playing with the strands as she gently massaged his scalp. He let go only to put his hand in her hair as his other traveled along her thigh, leaving goose pimples in its wake and causing that fire inside her to spark again. "We'll figure out the case in the morning but, for now, we're home." _Home_. He loved living with her and he told her so. He told her that nothing made him happier than sharing a home with her, sharing a life with her. Her eyes took on a slight sheen but this time it was her own happiness shining through. They were home and the world could go away until daybreak when they'd get up to work the case even harder.

Their lips met in a gentle kiss. It didn't take more than a few seconds for her tongue to demand and receive entrance into the warms depths of his mouth. Despite the pace, the kiss remained slow, soft and sensual. The fire inside changed from a mere spark to a small flame. His hands moved from where they were to slide up her sides, his thumbs caressing her breasts through the thin material of her nightgown. He moaned when he discovered her nipples already erect. She sighed when he moved his mouth away from hers but moaned softly as soon as she felt his lips leaving wet kisses along her neck. When his hands dropped down to her hips and pulled her closer to him, she tightened her legs around him and the small fire inside her began to breathe oxygen, sending warmth throughout her body.

Not one to put things off when they should be handled immediately, she admitted one of the things she'd shared with her Priest. "I told him I couldn't talk to you about Dwight," she confessed. "I'm sorry," she murmured when she saw the hurt briefly appear.

"Don't be," he began to reassure her, "we saw it differently. I understand what you needed now but I didn't _then_." He wiped his hand over his face. "I wish I could've _been_ there for you. I wish I could've done _better_ ," he admitted, guilt evident in his tone.

"You _were_ there for me, Andy," she reassured him, "you _were_ but we just came at it from polar opposite views. I needed to worry about his soul and that stuff doesn't matter to you. I'm all right with that," she told him, looking him straight in the eyes, "there's _no_ judgment from me on that but _I_ needed to care and it scared me that I didn't. Father helped me with that and when Wildred said she understood, it all started falling into place for me." Her eyes moistened, this time from all the emotions she'd felt might never come but finally were. "I've started feeling the way _I_ believe I should." Caressing his arm, "You _are_ here for me and I love you even more for that."

He was moved by her words and as he tried to hide the emotion he was feeling, he signaled for her to scoot over a bit so he could fit. Instead she stood, gestured for him to sit and straddled him so they could talk face to face. Rusty was sleeping. Like any young adult, he tried to get as many hours of rest as he could and didn't wake during the night.

Knowing that, Sharon wrapped her arms around Andy and hugged him tightly. "You _are_ here for me," she whispered in his ear before sucking his lobe into her mouth then tracing her tongue along the shell of his ear. "You _didn't_ leave me to deal with this _alone_ ," she whispered before leaving her own wet trail of kisses down his neck. "I _knew_ I could count on you," she whispered as she kissed along his jawline. "I love you," she whispered before covering his mouth with her own for a deep, slow kiss that heated up quicker than she'd planned. The fire inside was spreading through her veins and swallowing the oxygen in her lungs by the time they moved apart.

"I felt like I _failed_ you," he admitted, his voice gruff with sadness and guilt. "I knew you had to work this out yourself but I felt like I could've done _more_ for you." He pulled her to him; to hold her as he spoke, to hide his emotions from her, and to allow his thoughts to flow. "For a second, I wondered why you'd want to do this with me if I couldn't get _this_ right," he admitted hoarsely. "I love you, Sharon, and I want nothing more than for us to spend the rest of our lives together," he added, holding her even closer.

Her instinct was to pull away, to be able to face him, but he needed her close to him while they shared their secrets and regrets. Her lips right by his ear, she tried to reassure him. "I love you, Andy. I _still_ want to spend my life with you. We _made_ it through this. Don't you see that? We're here."

"We're here," he murmured, "we're _home_." He moved to kiss her then. Hard and deep and the fire inside the both of them began reaching out for the other.

"Let's make love," she husked against his lips and instantly found herself being carefully moved off him.

They made their way quietly back to her bedroom. _Their_ bedroom, in truth, because she did see it that way. Once the door was locked, their lips met and the heat between them created a bubble of desire and the need for reconnection that surrounded them. Her fingers swiftly unbuttoned his pajama top and slid it off. His hands removed her wrap, carelessly letting it fall. Hers grasped the waistband of his pajama bottoms and boxers, pushing them down as he brought her nightgown up then over her head. Her panties were the last to go and he did so slowly, enjoying the view.

His fingers trailed up her body as he stood back up, driving that flame inside higher, causing her heart to beat faster and pulse to race. Kissing him, she began slowly massaging him until a groan escaped. Licking down his neck, kissing his chest, sucking on his nipples, her hands traveled his body before she sat down on the bed, took hold of him and licked the head. His hands flew to her hair as he groaned again when she sucked on the head briefly before taking him deep into her mouth. She moaned as she sucked and moved up and down along his member; he groaned as she licked him between releasing and regaining suction.

When he could take no more, he gently pushed her head back. He kissed and licked her everywhere as he knelt down in front of her. His knees might hurt in the morning but he wanted to taste her right then and there. Raising her legs over his shoulders as she leaned back made him twitch and he licked his lips. Flicking and sucking her nub had her softly moaning but he wanted to hear his name flow from her throat. Two fingers moving expertly inside her, hitting her spot, had her writhing so he placed one hand on her. Hers covered it and held on as she lay flat, moaning. Her back arched up as the first wave of orgasm hit her and he waited for his name to be growled out because she had to be quiet. When he heard it, he kissed up her body until he captured her mouth.

She moved herself to be lying correctly on the mattress and he covered her body with his. He didn't plan on having a discussion while they made love but sometimes one or the other would bring something up in the heat of the moment and they'd take the time needed before going back to what they'd started earlier. This was one of those times. "Are you really okay?" He didn't want her to _ever_ think that being together sexually was more important than their overall relationship or feelings.

"His mother understands and, as a mother myself, I _needed_ to hear that. I want the soul of the _boy_ she remembers and loves to be taken care of," she answered, emotion evident. "I'm _really_ okay," she said as she ran her fingers along his back, "but I _love_ that you stopped to check on me." Kissing him hungrily, she encouraged him to enter her. The need to have him inside her was greater than it had been but he wouldn't. Instead he kissed his way down her body again and brought her to climax once more with his mouth and fingers. Her growl was deeper this time as she said his name. When she breathed out, "Andy, I want you," he made his way quickly up her body and kissed her with everything he had. When he stopped to look at her, to check on her emotional state, he saw only love and desire. Everything that had been draining her during this case seemed to have eased away, for now. "Now that I'm more at peace with what happened, I _really_ am all right," she reassured him with a smile. The love she felt for that man was beginning to overwhelm her though. "You have _no_ idea _how_ much you've helped me," she rasped, eyes moist once again.

Their next kiss held all their emotions in it and he entered her in one swift motion. Their rhythm was set immediately and they moved quickly until she whispered for him to slow down because she wanted to feel all of him that night. The rest of their lovemaking vacillated between slow and medium thrusts and they relished in their time together until each reached their peak at the same time, moaning the other's name during their frantic kisses.

Back in bed, he saw her reaching for her nightgown. "I need to feel you next to me tonight," he murmured, his arms reaching around to pull her close to him. Snuggled into him, head on his chest, she could tell his breathing was uneven but not in the way it usually was from their lovemaking.

Kissing his chest, she asked what was wrong. He sighed but didn't admit to anything. He just held her tighter. "You _didn't_ mess up, Andy," she assured him, thinking he still felt guilty for not being able to help her more.

"I could've _lost_ you, Sharon," he breathed out and she could tell he was fighting hard with his emotions. Finally, he turned to look at her, his finger under her chin for her to do the same. "You were _right_ next to Taylor and he took all of the hits. I've been fighting this feeling since then. I didn't want to say anything. But, _damnit_ , Sharon, that could've been _you_." His eyes were filling with tears but he was putting up a good fight to keep them clear. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that _dirtbag_ Dwight Darnell could've taken that _all_ away," he rasped out, anger taking over. "I get that you needed the absolution from his mother. I get that you needed to feel bad for taking a life, _his_ life. But that _sonofabitch_ could've taken _yours_. _That's_ why he's a dirtbag. _That's_ why I'm glad you took him down." His breathing was ragged from the effort of trying to be quiet, trying to control his anger so as not to take it out on her, and trying to show her how much he loved her all in the same breaths.

" _You_ were there too, Andy," she breathed out. "He shot in different areas of that Courtroom. It could've been _you_ too." A tear escaped but she didn't care to wipe it away in that moment. She was too worried about her boyfriend, the man she loved, finally admitting his own fears. Seeing the tears in his eyes mattered more to her just then. "It could've been _you_ ," she whispered before kissing him.

"I am so glad we're living together, Sharon," he rasped. His anger was gone. His fear was subsiding, though not completely dissipating with the case still ongoing.

She wiped away the first tear that fell with her thumb. "So am I, Andy, _believe_ me so am I."

Their next kiss was passionate and he rolled on top of her again. "At my age, that you can do this to me says a lot," he told her as he entered her again. "I love you," he breathed out as he began moving quickly in and out of her.

She met him thrust for thrust. "I love you too," she replied. "Tonight we _need_ each other," she added in a softer tone.

"And that's okay. That's a part of loving each other. To _need_ each other sometimes. To _be_ there for one another _always_." His thrusts had lost coordination and she knew he was close. "You haven't come, Sharon," he whispered.

"I just _want_ you, Andy," she whispered back, "that's all." With that he let himself find release. The second time had been hard and fast but he was right, at their ages second times weren't common.

Back in bed, they held onto each other, though not as tightly as they had been. They had come through a major life event, done it together and found themselves stronger for it.

They still had to fight the Aryan members of the ZB. They still had to protect Dr Joe and find out who was the silent leader, the one with the weight who was _really_ calling the shots. They still had to deal with their own emotions but they'd just honestly shared them. That spoke volumes to both of them.

They'd come through this together and each was seeing more and more that their future held many bright days ahead for them. They just had to keep coming _home_ to one another and keep _feeling_ or, at the very least, as she was doing on that night, feeling _again_.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!


	12. Waiting

_**Waiting**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_. James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **Summary** : Ep tag 5.13; If there was one thing Sharon Raydor and Andy Flynn were good at, it was waiting.

 **A/N1** : Enjoy! Leave a _review_ if you feel so inclined. They are ever so appreciated. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

Their case was solved. Sharon had gotten the absolution she'd needed. Now she and Andy could have some downtime alone. Or so she thought.

Andy had been having some pain for a couple of days. Thinking it was nothing, and believing his promise to tell Sharon if anything was bothering him health-wise pertained only to the clot, he didn't mention it. He should have.

As he held onto her wrist and she held his face with both hands, waiting for the ambulance to get there, the only thing she focused on was the fear in his eyes as he seemed to have trouble breathing and the pain tore through his chest. Looking at her, though she tried to school her features, he saw the same fear in her eyes.

Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes like hours as they waited for the EMS to get there. His colleagues were calling out to him, trying to keep his attention focused. He only wanted to see Sharon. Words were beginning to sound jumbled as the seconds ticked off. The overhead lights were beginning to dim. He noticed that, despite everything going darker around him, Sharon was whiter. The fear was running through her and her skin tone was pale. It made him glad she wasn't there to witness his _dust-up_ with the car. It would've terrified her just as this was now.

He felt Tao pull on his tie, loosen it and open the top two buttons of his shirt. The Lieutenant had to work around his Captain but he did so without hesitation. No one expected Sharon to let go. Andy didn't want her to because it meant he had to also. She was his lifeline in those moments.

When the EMS arrived, they placed him on the stretcher, checked his vitals and tried to get him to talk. When he couldn't answer them, fear flew across Sharon's features before she calmed herself and spoke to him soothingly. Much as he wanted to, much as he tried, he couldn't answer her either. His hand still around her wrist, she instinctively helped raise the stretcher. She might be in the way but she was determined to help as much as possible to lessen the effects of her proximity to him. Moving quickly with them to the elevator, she heard Provenza call out that he'd grab her stuff and bring it to her at the hospital. Turning briefly, she nodded in acknowledgement and gratitude.

The ride down was quick, the firefighters' key turned to avoid any stops along the way. He was put into the ambulance; still refusing to let her go, she hopped up quickly without any of the grace or elegance for which she was known.

As the ambulance flew through the streets, lights flashing and siren blaring, Sharon spoke softly to Andy, assuring him that he would be fine and be home with her soon. His eyes seemed to have turned the darkest shade of brown she'd ever seen on him; and she had seen his eyes all shades by then.

Finally going through the doors of the ER, it felt like they had reached the finish line of a race. Andy would now be taken care of by the professionals, he'd be fine, and then go home. 'Only,' she reminded herself, 'it might not work out that way.' She barely heard the nurse telling her she had to let go and stay in the patient waiting area. When she tried to take her hand away, Andy squeezed harder. Neither wanted to release the other but the nurse was there to ensure they did. Finally getting free, she whispered, "I'll wait for you," before they wheeled him away once again.

Walking into the waiting area, she knew Rusty and Gus would be there soon as would Provenza with her belongings and the rest of her team. Taking only a few seconds to calm herself, she called Nicole and informed her about her father. After declining to go there immediately because she had the boys and Dean wasn't home yet, she asked for updates, promised to be there as soon as she could, and offered to call her brother since his relationship with their father was still a work in progress. Grateful for that, Sharon thanked her and hung up.

Pacing, she thought of the first time she heard those words. "I'll wait for you," he promised with a shrug, "in case you need me." She'd felt that case down to her bones and it tore off a piece of her heart. Andy knew the toll it was taking so, as her friend, offered to do the notification. When she had refused, explaining she needed to do it herself, he'd made his offer to wait. They had both become champions of waiting since that day.

Sitting down briefly, she wondered what was taking her son and the team so long to get there. Deciding it was traffic and they weren't using sirens, she sat back and thought quickly about the times they spent together as _just_ _friends_. On their first date, Andy had admitted to her that he had feelings for her during their friendship that she didn't pick up. Explaining that she had so much going on in her life, she told him she cared very deeply for him as a friend but that it wasn't until after that dinner before _The_ _Nutcracker_ that she truly began to think about whether there was _more_ between them.

Pacing again, she covered her face as she groaned over answering _fine_ when he finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a real date. She chuckled upon remembering the look on his face after she told him she couldn't kiss him, that they had to take it slow, until Taylor had been informed. Remembering that first _real_ kiss made her face flush and her body reacted as it had in that moment. Remembering the first time they made love brought tears to her eyes. He had been so patient waiting for her to be ready to share that last part of herself with him; to show him just how much she loved and trusted him with _all_ of her.

Leaning against the wall for support, she allowed the fear to wash over her for only a minute before she gave herself a stern lecture about how strong Andy is and reminded herself they've been down this road before with his blood clot. 'He'll be fine,' she told herself, 'he'll come home again.'

Provenza, Rusty and Gus walked in together and headed to the waiting area. The members of the team would arrive shortly. The Lieutenant peeked in first, saw his Captain leaning against the wall, fighting to hold back tears, and stopped short, holding back the boys. "Give her a second," he said quietly. Feeling uncomfortable within a minute, he cleared his throat to announce his presence as he entered the waiting area. Her mask was back in place when she greeted them.

Having no information to give, Sharon merely said Andy was inside and sat down with a heavy sigh.

The wait seemed to last an eternity. The rest of the team arrived and sat or stood quietly. It seemed as if they all believed anyone speaking would break the spell of protection they all wished for their friend and colleague.

A nurse came out asking for his _Power Of Attorney_ so Sharon stood, introduced herself and explained that they live together. As his POA, she could make his medical decisions in the event he was unable. The nurse handed her a clipboard with all the paperwork needed for Andy's latest health episode and went back inside. They'd discussed this, what their wishes were in the event of a crisis, so Sharon sat and began calmly filling out the forms. They gave her something else to concentrate on and still her fears in the process.

She was finished and handed them back to the nurse when she returned with the doctor treating Andy. Listening intently, she felt her breath hitch and a lump form in her throat. Her hand instinctively moved to cover her diaphragm as the doctor explained what was happening to her boyfriend. At this point _boyfriend_ sounded better to her than _live-in lover_ as Provenza had once teasingly called him. Just as the doctor was finishing up and ready to go back inside, Nicole and her mother arrived. Sharon introduced his daughter but her mother had stayed back, avoiding eye contact with most in the room, especially Provenza.

After the doctor left, Sharon hugged Nicole and summarized what she had missed. The younger woman explained her brother thought hospitals were morbid and if his father was dying, waiting around for it to happen was even more morbid. Seeing the tears begin to well in Sharon's eyes, she quickly apologized. "He'll be fine," Sharon told her with a confidence she didn't feel. Nicole agreed, recalling the many times her father had been counted as down and out but like the Phoenix he had risen each and every time.

Andy's ex-wife walked over to them and easily wrapped her arms around Sharon. "I've seen you two together. I've seen how he loves you. He won't leave you," she assured her quietly. Their conversation was their own, not meant to be overheard by anyone else, not even her daughter. They had an understanding between them born of loving an alcoholic and raising their children. They had each gone about it differently but they understood one another on a certain level.

Nodding her head, Sharon thanked her and they went to sit down next to each other. The team was watching with hidden fascination, except for Provenza who couldn't seem to hide his shock. He settled down as soon as he saw that the ex-Mrs Flynn was having a strange calming effect on his Captain.

Throughout the next few hours, Sharon sat down and spoke individually with each person present. She also paced a great deal. There were a few times she'd excused herself to be alone. She'd called Emily and Ricky. She'd called Andrea and Gavin. She'd gone to Chapel and prayed, _once_ _again_ , that Andy would live and she'd have more time with him. Whenever the tears threatened to fall, she willed them away. That day, she vowed to remain strong for Andy until he could be strong for himself.

The waiting was the worst part but it was what they did. If there was one thing Sharon Raydor and Andy Flynn were good at, it was _waiting_.

[ **The End** ]

 **A/N2** : Thanks for reading!

 **A/N3** : This was meant to stay in canon so the next part, " _Snippets of Waiting_ ," will be separate since we don't know for sure what was wrong with Andy.


End file.
